Monday, December 6, 2010

Another Nice Breakthrough

Another Nice Breakthrough

Sorry to have left you hanging for so long - it was a busy holiday period. My last blog entry left off with an upcoming test of the Lori model 12B in action during a “drawing.” For those of you not familiar with the “drawing” ceremony we have, basically it consists of my wife drawing a marble from a velvet sack after we’ve done a little making out and some teasing by both of us - mainly with our fingers. The sack begins with seven black marbles and one white marble. My wife draws a marble from the sack. If it is black, nothing happens - we draw again day after next and the drawn black marble is kept out of the sack for the next drawing; so the count for the next drawing is then six black and one white marble. This continues every other night until she selects a white marble. Once the white marble is selected by her, the clock starts and sometime within the next five days (120 hrs.) I will be allowed to orgasm at a time, place and method of her choice. She need not tell me when in advance and, in fact, can “fake me out,” i.e. lead me to think that a particular get together will be the time for it and then deny me as long as she eventually allows me to cum within that five day period.

We have been doing the marble drawing for a few months now, experimenting with the drawing periodicity and the numbers of black and white marbles but with basically the same dynamic: black marble selected means no imminent orgasm and pick again in two days; white marble means imminent orgasm - a matter of days. It has worked wonderfully for us - providing us with a dedicated time to get together for some sexual play every other night and keeping my wife’s head and passion in the game; not to mention some really incredibly explosive, passionate, uber-satisfying sex when I am finally allowed to release. A couple of things I should mention for those who have not read my previous blog entries:

First, I noticed that my wife had an unusual degree of prescience when it came to selecting the white marble - she seemed to know ahead of time when she was going to pick it even though it was, or was supposed to be, a “blind drawing.” She began doing all of the things I have known her to do in preparation for full on sex before the drawing was held. Later, checking the marble, I found she had doctored the white marble with something that gave it a rough texture, easily distinguishable from the smooth black marbles it was with. My guess is she used a clear nail polish in streaks on it. But, far from being angry about the deception, I was delighted by it. She had taken control of my orgasm which was the important thing for me. The deception was simply to give her cover so she felt comfortable doing it which was perfectly okay with me. It also gave her the freedom to experiment on her own about how and when she would allow me to cum.

Second, although I had often told her (and written in notes to her) that it was perfectly okay to fake me out - let me think it was my night for orgasm and then “change her mind” after she had her orgasm - i.e. leave me hanging. I also let her know as subtly as I could that I would like to try that experience. But, to date, she had never done that. She stubbornly held onto the belief that men, once aroused, had to be allowed to cum. To do otherwise would be painful/harmful to them and would make me angry at her for being a “prick tease,” (yes, she used that phrase) whatever I said beforehand about wanting that. She said she loved me and never wanted to cause me pain or harm. I didn’t push it any harder, feeling that if I did it would ruin it for me if it did happen since I would be the one denying myself, not her.

So, with that as a background, I put on my Lori model 12B complete with locking pin, lock and rubber cap and casually watched her as she went through the familiar routine she followed when she was going to have sex - lengthy shower but without washing or wetting her hair, her favorite Victoria’s Secret body lotion that gave her that wonderfully fragrant, sexy scent, and putting on one of her sheerer, more revealing nightgowns instead of her usual wintertime flannel nightgown. I could see a white marble and immediate sex in my future.

I lit the scented candles, put on the soft music and gathered various lotions, offering to give her a foot massage, which she readily accepted. She laid down diagonally across the bed (she is tall and must lie diagonally if I am to have room to sit up against the headboard of our bed and be able to massage her feet and lower legs in my lap. In the candlelight, my wife’s body looked luscious through her sheer nightgown. I had pre-warmed the massage lotion in a bowl of hot water so it was just warmer than body temperature when I removed it from the bowl and squeezed out a generous portion in my palm. Gently lifting her leg by the ankle, I moved it so her foot rested on my crossed legs, the bottom of her foot grazing the head of my dick imprisoned in the penis ring of the Lori 12B and pointed down, my already semi-hard shaft rapidly inflating and hardening, further pressuring my exposed, vulnerable balls sticking out on either side of the shaft and pressed against my inner thighs.

With the back of her ankle resting against the inside of my crossed lower legs, I rubbed my hands together to spread the warm lotion out and then gently grasped her foot with both hands, one holding the heel of her foot for support, the other the sole, thumb up around the balls of her foot. I began the massage with gentle circles, using my thumb to work the lotion into the calloused balls of her foot, moving up to massage the much softer skin in the area just below her toes. She emitted a low sigh of relief and pleasure as I worked my thumb in continuous circles, working my way across the upper part of her foot. I could feel the tension leave her leg as she relaxed and let the full weight of it be supported by my crossed legs and cupped, supporting hand. After a few minutes of working my thumb across the upper part of the sole in small circles, she turned her face to the side to locate the silk, padded eye cover she liked to wear when I massaged her. Even though the room was very dim, lit only by three small candles, she liked to close her eyes and have it completely dark so she could lose herself in the touch of my hands without the distraction of light.

As I released her foot to reach over for more lotion, I felt her foot come alive in my lap and start to playfully reach for and graze my trapped penis, moving the lotion covered sole of her foot over the head and top of my penis shaft, I felt a strong bolt of pleasure course through me.

“Oh my,” she whispered in a husky voice, “you seem to be getting hard. Are you alright,” she said with a little bit of a giggle, seeming to be pleased and well satisfied at the effect she was having on me.

“I’m fine dear,” I replied - “Just fine.”

But I wasn’t fine. My dick was about as engorged as the metal, 12B chastity device would allow, which was surprisingly almost fully engorged. The one and one eighth inch diameter penis ring, reduced in size further by the locking pin and underside spikes (studs) which had firmly, yet comfortable held my flaccid penis in place, was now unforgivingly digging deeply into the top of my almost rigid shaft, just behind the head; the studs buried deeply into the sensitive underside of my shaft on either side of the urethral canal. Immediately I knew this was going to be a race against time - how long would it take me to pleasure my wife against the amount of time I could endure the pain of the stainless steel curve of the penis ring digging into my shaft.

I tried not to let the growing pain in my dick speed up my massage but no doubt it did. I worked my warm, lotion covered index fingers into the gaps between her toes, one at a time, plunging it slowly in and then withdrawing it in an ill disguised imitation of fucking. The message was not lost on my wife who seemed to be further aroused by it - I felt her squeeze her upper thighs together and shudder at the effect. I finished “penetrating” the gaps between her toes and then began gently pulling on each toe as I massaged the base of each digit. Then with both lubricated hands, began kneading and massaging the heel and middle sole of her foot, sides and across the top, finishing the massage of that foot with a gentle rub and manipulation of her ankle. I worked my hands up her calf and began a firm but gentle massage of her lower leg, up to the knee and back down. After I was finished with that foot and lower leg, I gently placed it back down on the towel covered mattress and went to work on her other foot and lower leg.

About ten minutes later, I finished the foot massage, and knew, with the insistent pain of my steel strangled dick that I had to move this along. With my wife thoroughly relaxed and almost limp, I gently grasped both of her ankles and, placing her feet flat on the mattress, slid her legs back as I unfolded my legs and leaned forward on my chest and belly, my lotion covered hands sliding up her legs, moving her nightgown up until it was bunched up around her waist. I think my wife knew what was coming next as I felt her legs relax and her knees spread out on either side of me. Cupping the little, round bottom of her ass cheeks in my palms, I used my thumbs to gently spread open her nether lips and dipped my head low to start at the very bottom, below her slit, and with relaxed tongue slowly swiped upward, inside her inner labia, stopping at her opening and dipping the tip of my tongue in before continuing up to the apex and the engorged bud that was just peeking out from its hood. Rather than licking it directly, I went around it several times with just the tip of my tongue before gently pressing my lips around it.

My wife squirmed under my tongue, moaning in pleasure as I felt her fingers combing through the thick, wavy hair at the back of my head as she pulled and held me where she wanted me. I did a second, third and fourth long, slow swipe, each time applying just a little more pressure with my lips as they surrounded and kissed her clit. I had almost forgotten about the pain in my dick until she snaked her foot down under my hip and found the poor, trapped fellow. Giving it a few swipes with her foot, probably not realizing just how much pain I was in and how much more pain those few swipes of her foot caused me as my dick was getting grotesquely distorted by the steel that was deeply embedded in the shaft, the purple head crying pre-cum tears for relief. Rapidly overtaking the pain in my dick was the growing ache in my trapped balls from her flicking foot and the sheer pressure of my engorged manhood pressing them against my thighs and the steel rim of the testicle ring.

I knew I couldn’t continue this for much longer but I desperately wanted to avoid crying “uncle” from the very chastity device I was trying to get her to accept. To speed things up a bit, I reached for and found the wand vibrator that she loves, pulled my face away and applied it to her slit. She literally jumped in immediate reaction to the bolt of pleasure that hit her from the first touch. I also think she has an almost Pavlovian reaction to the sound of the vibrator from all of the pleasure it has given her in the past. Just turning it on gets her juices flowing. I moved it slowly, up and down her slit, hearing her gasp and suck in her breath when I lightly grazed her clit before moving it back down and around her inner thighs; teasing her in the way I love to be teased by taking her right to edge and then moving off.

Her hand went to the handle of the vibrator, at first guiding me to where she wanted it and then just taking it from, hissing “get out of that thing - I want you in me when I cum.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I fairly leaped up out of bed, found the key ring and then fumbled through the mass of keys in the dim light to find the oddly shaped hexagonal key to fit the 12B lock. Finding the key, I held it in one hand as I felt for the rubber cap over the lock to remove it so the key could go in. With fingers slippery from the lotion, it was difficult getting the tight cap off. The fun was just beginning.

Okay, so here I am, my wife moaning in pleasure from the ministrations of her favorite vibrator, waiting for me to enter her to fuck her after more than two weeks of complete orgasmic abstinence - and me with a fully engorged but steel strangled cock bursting itself to be free and me fumbling to hold a small, odd shaped key with slippery fingers while trying to find the tiny slot the key must line up with, all in the dim light of a candle. My first thought was - “wow, this is going to be tough;” my second thought was “note to self - take the stupid lock off before playtime - a bit of tape over the locking pin resting slot is sufficient to hold it in place.”

Okay, by trial and error, I finally find the small line up slot and insert the key, just as I hear my wife say: “So, are you coming back any time soon?”

“Yes dear, in a moment,” I reply, not at all convinced by my own time estimate.

Now the real fun part - to open the lock, one must hold the key firmly while turning while at the same time holding the body of the lock in place so the key turns within it. With the fingers of both hands slick from the very slippery massage lotion, I had no chance - none of doing that, especially in my state of fever pitched arousal and screamingly painful cock and balls. After a half dozen fumbled tries, it finally occurred to me that I needed to wipe the lotion off my fingers; frantically, I did so with a nearby towel. Moments after that epiphany, I had the lock off, the locking pin and finally, joyously, my dick slid free of its steel straightjacket. Quickly, I slid back into bed, my wife guiding me into the “crossing the T” position she preferred when she wanted me inside her as she brought herself off with the vibrator.

“Well, it’s about time,” she said with equal measures of humor and sarcasm.


I answered not with words but with deeds as I slid my hips under her legs, facing her as she lay on her back, the vibrator never leaving her slit for a moment. With her thighs draped over my hip, I slid closer to her until the tip of my dick just reached the soft, downy covered lips of her now very wet pussy. Using my hand to guide the shaft, I slid further until I was just about to enter her. With her free hand she brushed mine away off my shaft.

“Let me, let me,” she said as her fingers wrapped around my pulsing, engorged shaft and pulled on it insistently.

As she moved it down towards the bottom of her slit I started to thrust forward seeking that warm, wet tunnel I knew so well and, at this point, craved beyond belief.

“No, I’ll do it,” she said a little louder, a definite edge in her voice.

I obeyed immediately, relaxed and remained motionless, letting her take complete control. I felt her fingers massage my shaft, then the head of my dick, almost cumming but holding back, not wanting to spoil it for her. It took all of my breathing and PC muscle control techniques to fight back the almost overwhelming urge to cum. She rubbed me up and down her slit, alternating the feel of my dick head and that of the vibrator on her clit. I knew she was close, very close when her knees drew back and spread themselves wide, opening herself up completely. With her hips thrusting up, she drove my dick into her pussy in one spasmodic jerk of her arm as though she was stabbing herself.

“Now, fuck me,” she said. “Do it fast and hard.”

I responded immediately, revving up to speed like a well-oiled machine, piston thrusting in and out just as fast and hard as I could go. In less than a minute, she exploded, screaming and bucking like a possessed, insane teenager. She bucked and thrashed wildly, the heels of her feet pounding my back as she flailed in total abandon, one loud, repetitive chant of “Ohhhhhh goooddddddddd Ohhhhhhhhh godddddddd Ohhhhhh gooooodddddd!” bursting from her lips. I continued to breathe deeply and fought the instinctive urge to contract my PC muscles - the thing that triggers in orgasm.

After what seemed like minutes, she slowed down and then stopped completely. She went completely limp, legs splayed out - one over my thigh, the other over my upper arm, both arms lay limp on the mattress, one hand still holding the vibrator, the buzz still filling my ears. Slowly, she seemed to come to, first turning off the vibrator, then laughing as she whispered:

“That was unbelievable - just unbelievable - never felt anything like that.”

“I know - I was there. I had an absolute ball watching you, feeling you explode,” I said as I began moving my hips slowly, my rigid cock still embedded in her tunnel starting to slowly piston in and out like the slow start of an engine just starting to roll over. She looked at me for a moment, just a moment before she said:


“I’m going to be a bitch tonight,” so nothing for you - you’ll have to wait.”

There was silence; She was looking at me, testing me, seeing what my reaction was going to be. It was like watching somebody put a foot out on the frozen surface of a pond to test the ice. As much as I desperately wanted to cum by this point, I also knew that these next few moments would determine whether she would attempt to do a heavy tease and denial again. And I craved this kind of tease and denial - craved it even more than I wanted to orgasm at that moment.

“Okay hon - that’s fine,” I said, my voice still shaky from the adrenaline coursing through me getting my body ready to explode in orgasmic relief.

“You know, it’s what you asked for,” she said, her voice rising in that sing-song way used to denote humorous sarcasm.

“Yes, yes, I know, I know,” I said trying not to sound too glum.

“Be careful what you ask for dear . . . ,” she said, laughing, me chuckling along with her as my body started to realize that I really, really wasn’t going to cum. That she wasn’t joking or just testing me.

A Postscript

The next morning, before we got dressed, I gave her a hug and thanked her for having the courage to step outside of the box and try something new. She said she loved it - that she had the best sex ever and was starting to understand what this was all about.
I couldn’t stop grinning - you know, one of those Andy Griffith “ear to ear” jobs. At that moment, the feeling of love and devotion towards my wife was overwhelmingly intense. At that moment, I would have done anything for her. And I still would

A Postscript to the Postscript

Two nights later, three nights after she had selected the white marble, I was watching some football highlights while sitting on the couch in the den eating an ice cream pop, when my wife came in, still wearing the slacks and top she wore to work, knelt down beside my leg, unsnapped my jeans, slid my zipper down, pulled down the waistband of my underwear until it cleared my CB-6000s covered dick, opened the special key locket I had given her that was around her neck, took out the key, unlocked the lock holding the tube on, removed the tube and then, using thumb and finger, grasped my very flaccid cock and wiggled it back and forth.

“How’s the little guy doing. Is he ready for some action?”

Before I could answer, she turned her face down, opened her mouth and took all of it between her sweet lips. Here I am, in what must be a wet dream, on my couch, the football highlights still blaring from the TV and my half-eaten ice-cream pop (vanilla!) in my hand. I managed to reach the remote to turn off the TV but had no place to put the ice-cream so, in an inspired moment, I fed it to her - she alternated licking and sucking my cock with licking and sucking the ice cream. After the ice cream her lips felt cold on my quickly rising and rigid cock but they warmed up quickly and it was fun watching her giggle as she ate me. For just a moment, I reflected on how far we had come (cum) in less than year in reigniting our sexual relationship and our total relationship. It was more than I ever could have hoped for when I started this chastity lifestyle experiment some eleven months ago.

After a few more minutes of delicious ice cream and cock, she rose up, kneeled beside me on the couch and gave me the most passionate kiss I could remember, the taste of vanilla ice cream still on her lips; then she led me by the hand to our bedroom where she stripped the rest of my clothes off me, removed her own, then climbed on top of me and rode me to the most exquisitely, pleasurable, explosive orgasm ever - and that’s saying a lot, given the last eight months of fabulous sex we have had.

Monday, November 15, 2010

A New Chastity Device

Last month I ordered a new chastity device, a Lori device model 12B (item # 122 at the following link is nearly identical to the one I bought: http://www.chastitytube.com/instock.html

I have used the CB-6000s for about five months (and the CB-6000 regular for about five months before that). It fits well and is reasonably comfortable and secure. The CB-6000s split once and was promptly replaced by the vendor/maker A.L Enterprises so I have no complaint about that device. There were several reasons for the new purchase. First, there is something about the full encasement of my dick in plastic that is just really off-putting for my wife. She won’t initiate action to touch and tease me while I have it on. Second, because it is enclosed like that, I need to remove it each day to thoroughly clean it and me. I know many wearers don’t remove it - using power washers, q-tips and pads to clean it and themselves while they have it on but I am really fastidious about cleanliness so that’s not me - I never could get it or me clean enough to my satisfaction to keep it on continuously. Finally, I would like to eventually migrate to a metal device for increased security and durability. Something like a Lori model 2C.

The model 12B seemed to be a nice way to introduce my wife to the idea of my wearing a metal device. With only a testis and penis ring, my genitals are far more open to touching and it will be easy to keep it and myself clean without removing it. Although without a piercing, the 12B is not very secure (the CB-6000s is more secure), pull out isn’t a problem for me. I have not felt the need to attempt it in any of the devices I have worn (in addition to the CB-6000 and 6000s, I have also tried the curve and the CB-3000).

After exchanging several e-mails negotiating the terms of the purchase, Lori promptly shipped it out to me once payment was made through Paypal. Lori was very good about responding to the many questions I had in my e-mail, always responding to me the same day. It arrived within three days of shipment. It was well protected in bubble wrap.

The first thing that struck me about it is it’s weight. It is a solid piece of stainless steel and at 5.8 ounces is more than twice the weight of my fully assembled CB-6000s, including the lock. It is also a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. From the smooth, polished edges and curves, it is obvious that a lot of work went into making it. The second thing that struck me is “this ain’t plastic.” It’s a permanent device. No household wire cutting snips will open this up.

After some careful measurement, I concluded that I needed a testis ring of 1 and 3/4 inches and a penis ring of 1 and 1/4 inches. The testis ring was easy - it was the size of my CB-6000s testis ring (ring size #3) and that fit well. I even tried putting the CB testis ring on with the ring already closed and that worked fine. The problem was figuring the right measurement for the penis ring. It had a lot of variables.

First, there was the size of the ring itself. Second, there were two studs (or spikes as they’re called but they are dull and flat like studs) on the bottom of the p-ring which were 3/16 inch high to help prevent pull-out. Third, there was the locking bar that went across the top inside of the p-ring, reducing it’s vertical diameter by some unknown amount. Fourth, and probably the hardest to figure was the circumference (and by calculation, the diameter) of my penis. Lori’s web site says to measure just behind the head when it’s flaccid, but with me there are different degrees of flaccid. There’s the usual walking around flaccid, and then there is the “my penis is trapped in a small place and so it makes itself very small” flaccid. The usual flaccid I could measure and it came to about 4 inches, perhaps a hair less. The “trapped” flaccid I couldn’t measure becasue it occurs inside of the CB tube. I knew the tube was 1 3/8 inch and when I'm ultra flaccid, it seemed to fit easily without pressing against the sides.

I also knew that the only way to put the device on was with a sequence that was likely to arouse and engorge my penis - the testis ring went on first. Since I had “shy” testis who would disappear up inside of me when being pressed into a small opening, I knew I would have to put a noose around them to keep from disappearing on me. I also knew the act of putting the noose on them would immediately arouse me. That and the fact that my penis had to be lubricated and handled to duck under the testis ring and then into the penis ring, I knew that the p-ring had to be large enough to handle a somewhat engorged penis or it wouldn’t go on, especially given the studs.

Basically, I compromised, guessed and went with Lori’s suggestion for measurement and used the 4 inch circumference to order the 1 and 1/4 inch p-ring - 1 and 3/4 inch testis ring, one of which she just happened to have in stock. I was concerned about the 3/16 inch studs so I asked that they be reduced to 1/16 inch in height.

After it arrived, I played with it before putting it on - mainly the locking mechanism and key which looks like a sort of vending machine type lock with a slot and two matching hexagonal keys. It required matching up the key with the slot, pushing in and turning while holding the lock body with the other hand. When done properly, it covers up the slot the locking bar goes in so it can’t be removed. Finally, there is a black, rubber cap that goes over the lock to keep debris and water out of the mechanism. When I was confident that I could work the lock, I put device on.

I used my usual skin moisturizing lotion around my balls and found, as I had suspected, that without using a noose to keep my balls from hiding out, they wouldn’t go in. Using the noose, I pushed them through, one at a time. In using the noose, I had semi-engorged so it was a little difficult to sneak my penis under and through the testis ring but with some water based lube I succeeded. Then I pressed my shaft down against my ball sack, separating the two testes and causing them to bulge forward like two 3-dimensional elephant ears. Then it took some serious compression of my lubricated, semi-engorged penis head to get it through the 1 and 1/4 inch penis ring (without the locking bar inserted). Finally, with my penis head through and the ring pressed against my shaft just behind the head or glans, I carefully inserted the locking bar, using a finger to press down hard against the skin of the top of my shaft and guiding the bar to the hole in the p-ring on the other side. With the locking bar in place, I screwed in the lock; then inserted the key by aligning key pin with the slot, pushed in and turned it while holding the body in place, until the marker on the lock lined up on top and the lock was tight.

I wore the device the first time for about six hours and I noticed a problem almost right away. Once my dick had shrunk it had gone past its normal flaccid size and went straight to the “I’m trapped” ultra-mini flaccid size. This resulted in my dick sliding around a lot inside the ring, even pulling out on its own when I sat or stood up. It was clear the p-ring was too big for me. I e-mailed Lori and explained the problem. She said she could reduce the p-ring diameter 1/8 inch and I would pay only for the shipping. She said it would take two weeks. I agreed and shipped it back, paying for shipping both ways.

A week after Lori received it, the modification was done and she e-mailed that she had shipped it back to me. I received it in a few days and tried it on. The fit was definitely better. There was no pull out on its own. I noticed she had restored the stud lengths to 3/16 on her own and I think that helped along with the smaller size ring. There was still some movement but I knew I couldn’t get it any smaller without making it either impossible for me to put on or impossibly uncomfortable whenever I erected (even involuntarily, like while I was sleeping). One thing that helped to make it more secure was using a few small rectangles of 1/16 inch thickness, double sided tape around the inside of the p-ring. All shaft movement was stopped with this, even while sitting or standing. But this is necessarily a temporary measure.

I have ordered one foot square, textured, rubber sheets with adhesive backing - the type used to improve the grip on tools and weapons. I will try using thin strips on the inner surface of the p-ring to see if it also will stop all movement and also stand up to things like showers (the 2-sided tape won’t) and normal wear. It seems that using a material that is tacky and textured will provide a much better grip on the shaft with the same amount of pressure than the smooth inside of the p-ring, much like the tread of a tired grips the road. I’ll update this review after I’ve tried it.

In summary, Lori is very reliable and accurate in her transactions. I will definitely do business with her again and would feel comfortable recommending her to others. The model 12B, without a piercing and Lori’s piercing-chastity jewelry, is not a secure chastity device for those tempted to pull out. To be fair, Lori makes it clear on her web site that without the piercing for security, this is a “tuck” device not a chastity device. For what it does, it does it very well. I am happy I ordered it and look forward to using it in playtime with my wife and at other times for a change of pace. Once my wife gets used to the metal device and starts to appreciate its elegant design and purpose, I will look into getting a more secure, non-pierced, chastity device like the Lori model 2C.

Oh, finally, my wife and I will be doing a “drawing” tonight, which usually means some heavy teasing for me. I’m curious to see how the model 12B feels when I am (or am trying to be) fully engorged. I will update this review when I find out.

kelmag

Monday, November 8, 2010

The Marble Game Takes An Interesting Turn

It has been about five weeks since my last post. In this previous post I described a game of chance I had devised to get my wife involved more in my chastity, including having her control the actual date and time of my orgasm. You may want to re-read my last post to refresh your memory (and enjoy the description of some very hot hotel sex), but the gist of the game rules was:

1. A one week cooling off period in which I received no or minimal sexual stimulation after my last orgasm, with a major tease period at the end of that first week.

2. Use of a random chance game after that first week to determine the general period of when my next orgasm would occur. This consisted of her drawing a marble from a sack containing 5 black and 1 white marble initially. Selection of a black marble meant no orgasm for me and another drawing in two days, with then 4 black marbles and 1 white marble - the drawings continuing like this until the white marble is selected.

3. When the white marble is selected, I get to cum within 3 days with the exact time within those three days determined by my wife. She was encouraged to "fake me out" once or twice, making me think some sexual play was going to lead to orgasm but then refusing me at the last moment. This meant I had to ask her permission before cumming.

4. The marble drawing was done in a romantic setting - at night (usually before we went to sleep), scented candles and soft music. The drawing to be preceded by some sexual play by both of us, with her teasing me.

So - how well did this work out? Some things worked and some things didn't. But, there was one very interesting discovery made along the way.

The first round went reasonably well except during the one week cooling off period when we were supposed to do some non-sexual touching, communication and cuddling - well, those things never happened. We would sit on the couch and watch TV together for a half hour or so, perhaps hold hands (if I initiated it) but that was about it. Without the hard date to do a drawing, she never got into any sort of romantic mood. After the one week cooling off period, I gave her a "Lady's Night," which consisted of an hour and a half of a full body massage with a happy ending provided with my tongue, fingers and her favorite wand vibrator. She enjoyed it but was not demonstrative in her joy, pretty much just taking a quick shower and going to sleep with almost no touching or communication afterward.

The white marble was selected by her at the fourth drawing which is about what probability would predict. The previous drawings were preceded by some nice romantic cuddling, kissing and general making out and some direct touching and teasing of my genitals while still locked up. Early in the "make-outs" she made it clear that she wanted nothing more than kissing in terms of stimulation. Her response each time of "I'm fine" when I would try to arouse her was a clear message of "hands off."

When she selected the white marble, she made it clear that she wanted to have sex immediately, not wait or tease me over three days. She had me remove the chastity device (she still doesn't like touching it) and we had conventional "at home" sex. It was very good for both of, with good, satisfying orgasms for both of us although not of the earth-shattering variety experienced the last time during our hotel adventure.

The second round's cooling off week went pretty much like the first with little or no affectionate contact without a drawing. This time, preceding the first drawing, she gave me about ten minutes of teasing and external prostate massage with my device still on before she drew. Incredibly, she beat the odds and drew a white marble the first time and let me know that there would be no wait. Instead of our regular, "at home" sex, she let tme know that she prefered to give me a hand job rather than have intercourse. She said she wanted to see me cum. It was good for a hand job but not great, not nearly as satisfying as intercourse and she demurred when I tried to reciprocate afterward. It had the feeling of "get it out of the way" sex which felt alot like our pre-chastity sex and not very satisfying on either an emotional or physical level.

Having gone two rounds with one week cooling off periods that did nothing for me or us in terms of bonding, I suggested we change the rules for the third round, having only a 4 day cooling off period but with an additional black marble added to the mix and her discretion after selecting a white marble extended to 4 days. I figured the intimate contact (the only contact) seemed to happen only when we had a reason to focus on each other like when we got together for a drawing.

This new timing seemed to work better. After four days we got together for our little drawing ceremony which was preceded by my giving her a really good foot massage with coconut oil scented lotion. She selected a black marble on this first drawing. Two days later, after more than usual primping and preparation of herself, we got together and, after about ten minutes of some very good teasing, we did the drawing. She drew a white marble - again beating the odds of selecting the one white marble from among five black ones. She let me know that there would be no delay - she was thoroughly ready for and wanted some hot passionate sex. And so we did.

We went at it passionately for more than an hour. She seemed to take control, starting out with me using my fingers and tongue on her and she using her wand massager. When I moved to enter her, "crossing the T," she said "I didn't say you could enter me." Wow, that totally blew my mind - she had never exercised that kind of control before. She was really getting into the role.

After a lot of stimulation and massager action, she came in a long series of powerful orgasms - each seeming to be the end but as she kept the vibrator pressed to her clit, I continued my ministrations as well, only to be rewarded by the sight and sound of her cumming again. When she was done cumming, she climbed on top of me, straddling my torso and then slid her way up until her shins were on my shoulders. I didn't need any further direction, pulling her glistening wet pussy to my lips and licking her gently, staying away from what I knew must be an overly sensitive clit after her orgasms, tasting her juices from every fold of her pink flesh. She began shuddering and I could feel the contractions of her tunnel through my lips. She reached around behind my head with both hands and pressed my face into her, holding me there until the shuddering subsided.

Afer she came this final time, she collapsed over me, panting, her face and hair wet with perspiration. Then she slid her body down over mine until her groin was pressed into mine. Then, she reached around and grasped my incredibly hard shaft and placed the head of my cock right at her entrance and held me there, brushing it slowly around her hole before plunging me in, sliding her body down over mine to penetrate herself to the hilt. She withdrew it to the very edge and then plunged herself down on me again, the sweat from both of our bodies lubricating her as she slid up and down on me. She did this a half a dozen times bringing me to that exquisite razor's edge of orgasmic explosion. I asked her if I could cum. "Yes, now," was all she replied. I didn't need anything more.

It was one of those white hot, almost painfully pleasurable explosions in which it felt the inside of my groin fairly erupted through my dick like Mount St. Helens going off. With both hands I gripped her deliciously soft, round buns and pressed her down on me as I thrust wildly into her, shooting hot cum with every maniacal thrust in. Finally, I went limp, my hands seeming to lose all strength, my arms suddenly so heavey I couldn't keep them wrapped around her. They flopped down on the mattress and it seemed for a few moments that I was floating upward.

We fell asleep or passed out like that, her on top of me, her arms wrapped around my neck, the side of her face pressed into mine. I don't know how long we were gone. When I finally came back to life, I felt cold - the overhead fan moving air over my sweat soaked, naked body and I heard the shower going over the sound of the still playing music. I must have fallen back asleep before she returned from her shower because I have no memory of anything until the next morning.

It was an experience that was at least equal to the earlier hotel "mini-honeymoon." Afterwards, I thought about what made the difference between that experience and the unsatisfying hand job the previous time and the answer was obvious - it was my wife's mood, attitude and passion since everything else was pretty much the same - same chastity device, same period between orgasms. It was her response that was the essential complement to the chastity device and routine that made the male chastity lifestyle such a powerful force in our relationship.

The title of this blog entry is "The Marble Game Takes An Interesting Turn." First, because of the incredibly pleasurable experience we both had while playing the game; but even more importantly, second - because of something I discovered about my wife's attitude towards "control." You see, after she beat 5 to 1 odds twice in a row, selecting the one white marble in the presence of five black ones, I checked the marbles. Now beating those odds twice in a row is not "winning the lottery," unlikely - it's about 2.5% or two and half chances out of a hundred. But, there was something else - something that only I would notice after a long marriage to my wife. I noticed that prior to the second drawing, she did all of the primping and preparing that she would do prior to having sex. Now, why would she do this unless she knew ahead of time that she would select a white marble and then could decide to have sex immediately.

So, I checked the marbles in the bag. The black ones looked and felt normal. The white one looked normal, but picking it up by itself, I felt something gritty on its surface. Feeling the white marble, it was clearly different than the black ones. It explained my wife's "amazing luck," not to mention the amount of time she would take as she fished around the bag while selecting a marble. There was no other explanation - she had doctored the white marble so she could distinguish it from the black ones and select or not select it when she chose.

Instead of being angry over the apparent cheating, I was delighted by this turn of events. It meant she wanted control over my orgasm - but she wanted to keep her controling hand hidden. It was perfect - even more than I could have hoped for in setting up the game. While seeming to give her a measure of control over my orgasm, she had secretly taken it - all of it. It was a very sweet discovery.

kelmag

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Is Eighty Percent Enough?

Is Eighty Percent Enough?

First, I want to start this blog entry with a special thanks to all of those who wrote to me about my previous article, “Male Chastity - Pleasure and Devotion, the Science Behind It,” telling me how much it meant to them and their partner to finally understand the source of the powerful positive emotions and mood changes that they have experienced during their adventure into male chastity. Every time I received one of those e-mails or comments, it made my day.

It has been about six weeks since my last blog entry. As I’ve mentioned before, I am not an every day kind of blogger. I write when something important happens regarding my male chastity experience. Well, something has. For the last six weeks, I have orgasmed only at the time, place and circumstance that my wife and I agreed upon. During that period, I orgasmed five times; the last of which (twice) was after eighteen days. These last two were especially sweet, not only because it was an unusually long period of denial for me (equaling my previous longest period to date), but it occurred during a two day “mini-honeymoon,” that my wife and I took together at a local resort hotel. One of the nice things about living in a resort destination, is there is always a nice vacation type hotel just minutes away.

That first day at the hotel, we got settled in, then went and sat pool side for a couple of hours as each of us enjoyed a drink and read, occasionally taking a break from our reading to hold hands like a couple of newlyweds, look at each and murmur words of affection. Then we retired to our room (which was at least a dozen rooms away from the next occupied room), while my wife changed into her “play clothes,” I laid out the various toys, lotions and potions I had brought. Still wearing my chastity device covered by a loose pair of boxer shorts, I awaited my lovely wife on the bed. After what seemed an eternity, she emerged from the bathroom wearing the sheerest black teddy you can imagine and a black, one piece garter belt and stockings with no panties. Before she even got on the bed, my cock was straining to expand, pulling the ring away from body until it stretched my scrotum and pressed hard against my balls. Even with the chastity device, I had a pretty good tent going with the loose boxers.

For more than an hour, my wife teased the heck out of me, rubbing herself all over me. After slowly drawing my shorts down over my hips and over the large bulge of my crotch, I saw just how weirdly swollen and distorted my genitals were as they strained against the chastity device and themselves for freedom. Several times during the rub and grind, she climbed on top of me, slowing dragging herself over my torso until she was straddling my face, presenting her freshly trimmed pussy for my oral attention. Nothing ever tasted as sweet. The sound of her moans, the scent and taste of her arousal, the sheer heat emanating from her crotch, aroused me like never before. I was one, all-body, sex gland, just seething, pulsing and throbbing with excitement. It felt like my whole body was vibrating, as though an electric current was running through me.

My wife, looking at my grotesquely swollen genitals, asked me, “doesn’t that hurt?” She has asked that question before out of genuine concern for me when teasing me when I was locked. This time though, the tone was different. It was sarcastic, like she was saying: “gee, look what I’ve done to you, poor dear - that’s too bad.” It was the first time she had slid into a dominant sexual role on her own during our play. It immediately ratcheted up my arousal another level, although it seemed impossible that I could be even more sexually aroused. I felt a wave of heat course through me, my face suddenly hot and flushed.

Finally, she took the key from around her neck and dangled it on front me, asking me how much I wanted it. “Badly, very badly,” was all I could get out of my arousal constricted throat. She finally unlocked me. I had the rest of it off in a jiffy and embraced her in a tight hug. For several minutes we were welded together, our lips locked, each of us trading thrusts with our tongue before swirling them around each other’s. She leaned back until she was flat on the bed and pulled me on top of her, drawing her legs up and hooking them around my lower back, pulling me close. Our lips were still locked together, tongues swirling as she snaked her hand down between us, found my ramrod hard cock and gently stroked it.

It was like touching the “third rail” but instead of pain, a thunderbolt of pleasure roared through me, expanding out rapidly from my crotch until it seemed to exit from my fingertips and toes, raising goose bumps all over my body and giving me the shivers. Even after an hour of intense, non-stop teasing, she wasn’t done with me; not by a long shot. We broke our lip lock long enough for us to make eye contact and then with eyeballs locked on each other, she took my throbbing cock and began gently rubbing it up and down her now very wet slit. A loud moan of pleasure came from both of us as she rubbed the head of my dick against her swollen clit.

“I don’t know how long I can hold out,” I said, feeling the telltale tingle at the base of my cock which signals the approach of orgasm.

“It is what you wanted, isn’t it?” she replied, reminding me without saying it of the many times I had asked her to edge me before I came.

“Yes, yes,” I managed to pant as she released her grip on my cock and disengaged our crotches, my dick losing all contact.

The feeling of impending orgasm passed as I kissed her passionately and nibbled her ear. She kneaded my ass cheeks, working her way down and then slipping a hand back between us and taking hold of my cock again. Again, she rubbed it up and down her slit. Having just experienced this, I was prepared for the feeling and didn’t let it push me over the edge. I was not quivering in pre-orgasmic arousal as I had been before so she doubled down so to speak and slipped the head of my cock into her waiting hole. That sent another bolt of pleasure through me that was so exquisitely sharp that it was almost painful. I heard her giggle and then felt her pull me out, again releasing me and pushing my hips away so my dick lost all contact.

She did this several more times, allowing the head of my cock into her, then pulling me out when she felt me start to thrust in. It was maddening and, sensing how over the top aroused and frustrated I was, laughed at the effect she was having on me. After a few moments, I calmed down. Sensing that, she took my cock again in her hand and began rubbing it up and down her slit. I could feel she was getting close as she began rubbing the head of my hot, swollen cock in small circles around her clit. Her breathing got faster; her hips began jerking in small spasms. Then her eyes closed and her chin tilted up as they always do just before she cums.

I felt her locked ankles come off my lower back, then her legs spread as wide as they could, tilting her hips up as she did this to apply more pressure on her clit from my dick head. She began humping it, rapidly thrusting her hips back and forth, moaning with each delicious increase in pressure on her clit. After just a minute or two of this, I felt her legs close up again, ankles locking and resting on the small of my back. Her fingers moved my cock head down until it was at her entrance, With a moan, she pulled just the head in. I felt her hands then reach around for my ass cheeks, fingers digging into the flesh; her ankles no longer resting but now insistently pulling me into her. We were cheek to cheek when she whispered just one word in my ear:

“Now.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. My own hip thrust joined her pull and I slid into her, feeling the incredible heat from her gripping tunnel. In less than a moment, I was buried in her to the hilt. Again, she gasped loudly and moaned as she began the humping motion with her hips again. Instead of withdrawing and thrusting again as every instinct in my body was telling me to do, I instead began rolling my hips up and down while still buried in her, using my pubic bone to apply pressure to her clit.

“Yes, yes, YES!” was all she said before she erupted, as she rapidly thrust her hips up as her abdominals contracted. Eyes still closed, she whipped her head back and forth, mouth wide open sucking in air as she came. After the second wild thrust and gyration of her hips, I felt that tingle of impending orgasm again. This time though, the tingle didn’t wait around for me to suppress it. It immediately ignited my orgasm. I can’t really capture in words the intensity and sharpness of the pleasure I felt, but each spasm seemed to increase in intensity as my wife continued to wildly gyrate, gripping and releasing my shaft with her vaginal muscles as she came and came.

During most of my life, orgasms were five or six seconds of pleasurable ejaculation followed by a rapid shut-down of pleasure. Since I’ve begun wearing a chastity device and going weeks without an orgasm of any kind, that has changed. The intensity of the pleasure has been magnified many fold over the pre-chastity orgasms I had experienced, and the entire experience lasts longer, sometimes much longer. The immediate spasms of orgasmic pleasure now last a good twenty seconds or more, but even more importantly, the pleasurable feeling of orgasm continue at a lower intensity without spasms for several minutes afterward. I’ve heard the effect described as a male multiple orgasm which kind of makes sense. But, the best description of this effect I’ve read in Tantric books is “full body orgasm.” It is exactly that. For several minutes, my entire body feels like it is vibrating, pulsing with pleasure that is no longer just felt in the genitals.

Exhausted, I rolled over beside her, her legs still tightly clenched around my torso. We gently stroked each other and laughed, amazed at the incredibly intense, hot sex we were having after almost twenty years of marriage. Even as newlyweds, I don’t think we experienced anything like the intensity and passion for each other that we were feeling now. We drifted off in each other’s arms and remained locked together as the room darkened with the setting sun and late afternoon turned into evening. We went out to dinner, chatted and ate and held hands in between courses. It was like the first few weeks we had dated when we could be in a room full of people but no else existed for us but each other. We both slept very well that night in the cool sheets of the very comfortable hotel bed.

We went at it again the next afternoon after a leisurely lunch overlooking the verdant hills of a nearby gold course. For a good hour and a half, we teased and aroused each other using fingers, lips, tongues and various vibrators. She came first, the wand vibrator pressed tightly against her slit while I licked, nibbled and kneaded her breasts. Then she got on all fours and offered herself doggie style, head turned sideways on a pillow, her chest almost flat on the mattress, legs spread widely. Her neatly trimmed pussy glistened with her juices in the afternoon light; her nether lips puffy and spread apart like the petals of a rose.

I entered her slowly, turning the tables on her, teasing her with shallow entries and withdrawals. I felt her thrust back, trying to capture all of me. I pulled back a little and then slowly drew the length of my shaft back and forth across her slit without entering her. She moaned loudly, then reached down between her legs, took hold of my dick and plunged it into herself, thrusting back to take all of it. We both moaned loudly as I felt the heat of her tunnel completely surround and grip me.

I began thrusting slowly, giving a little circular grind with my hips when fully in her before withdrawing until just the glans of my cock was inside her. The pace picked up and she matched my tempo. I felt her fingers reach down between our legs and gently cup my balls, then roll them around as she knew I loved. Her fingers drifted further down and found my perineum, that sensitive patch behind my ball sack. She knows that finger pressure there will ignite me in short order. She lightly massaged it and then pressed harder as I furiously fucked her, the sound of my sweat soaked hips slapping her equally wet ass cheeks filling the room.

She pressed a little harder and vibrated her fingers rapidly. She knew what she was doing. I exploded immediately, thrusting deeply in her, impaling her completely as the cum seemed to explode out of me in shot after shot. My body spasmed wildly as I emptied what was left in my balls and prostate into her. The room seemed to get darker and I felt light-headed and dizzy as I finished, her fingers returning to my balls and gently shaking and rubbing them, seeming to coax the last few drops out of them. I pulled out, seeing the white foam of my cum covering her slit as I slowly fell back onto the bed. My wife turned back around and slid in under my arm, tightly clutching my chest that was still heaving up and down trying to catch my breath.

We slept very well again that night. In the morning I put my chastity device back on. My wife smiled as she watched the procedure, shaking her head and still seaming a little bemused by it. It was as though she was saying, “It’s still a really weird looking thing, but if it’s responsible for the incredible sex of the last two days than so be it - let it be weird.”

The title of this blog is: “Is Eighty Percent Enough?” What it refers to is my estimate of how far along the path we are towards what would be an ideal sex life for us in a male chastity lifestyle. Actually, it’s how far along I think my wife is from the starting point of where she was eight months ago when this all started. You have read the description of what this past mini-honeymoon was like. It was pretty damn good. What was sex life like eight months ago when I started us down this path? Well not very good - in fact it was pretty bad and getting worse.

During the year or so before we began this adventure in male chastity, our sex life consisted of me asking or pressuring my wife for sex almost every day. She would deny me most of the time, finally agreeing once or occasionally twice a week. Most of the time the sex was listless. She showed little interest or passion and seemed mostly to be interested in getting me to cum as quickly as I could so she could be done with it. Of course, that led to a growing resentment by both of us. She resented the pressure for sex from me, feeling she was left with a Hobson’s choice of reject me completely and suffer my ire for several days, or give in and have sex when she really didn’t want to do it. As for me, I resented the constant rejection, the often totally listless performance by her and the fact that I was the one that always had to initiate sex. The problem was affecting our entire relationship making us both snippy and increasingly cold towards each other.

What accounts for the change in her libido? Much of it, I think, is simply the sudden complete removal of pressure from me for sex and the consequent removal of the biggest irritant in our relationship. We have talked about it, and I must confess I had no idea just how badly that constant conflict she was experiencing was weighing on her. Once we went to a designated day with no pressure from me beforehand, she said it felt like a great weight was lifted from her. She could hold my hand or stroke my hair without worrying that it would lead to pressure from me for more. She was free to be affectionate.

In a similar way, I felt better about not being rejected all of the time. And I certainly felt better about not having a listless sex partner when we did have sex. I found that she was being responsive to my gestures of affection with gestures of her own because she no longer feared that it would lead to pressure for sex. Moreover, I was simply in much better balance in terms of my neuro-chemistry. As described in my previous blog entry, without the frequent orgasms keeping me in low dopamine and oxytocin levels, I was just feeling better - had a much improved feeling of well-being and a powerful desire to please and be close to my wife.

There is also the fact that for the first time in a very long time, sex is now a subject for positive communication (what delightful things we want to do to each other) and not the constant source of friction and anger that it had been. She thinks about sex in a positive way now. It had been a long time since that was true.

So why only eighty percent? Why do I think we are only eighty percent of where I would like to be? Well, there are some other things that I would like to see happen in our sex life that haven’t happened yet or has not happened much. For one, I’d like to see her initiate sex some of the time. That hadn’t happened in probably ten years or more. But, I’m starting to see some of that happening now. In this last month, she actually cut short the period we were supposed to wait for our next “date,” just taking me by the hand and leading me to the bedroom. Wow, what a difference that simple act had on my feelings.

What else? Well, I’d like to have her really take control of my orgasms. Up to now, after lengthy, gentle and subtle persuasion, she now wears my key inside a special silver locket I had made for her. But, up to now, I am unlocked for cleaning daily and for sex to orgasm on a date that usually I suggest and she agrees upon. Early in our chastity experience, I asked her to decide upon a date when I would next orgasm and she said she just wasn’t comfortable doing that. Rather than push that, I backed off and spent months building a positive chastity experience for her. I think I have succeeded in doing that. She feels and acknowledges the positive changes in both of us and our relationship that a male chastity lifestyle has brought about. It may still be “weird” to her and she may not understand why I want to do this, but she can no longer deny that it is good for her as well as me.

To see if I can gently move her towards taking greater control of my orgasms, I have suggested a new set of rules for the next couple of months, ostensibly to keep our sex play new and interesting, which it does, but also to get her involved in taking some control of my orgasms to see that it can be fun for her and does not cause resentment by me (her great concern). For the next couple of months, we will be doing the following:

First, after we have sex in which I orgasm, I will go immediately back into the chastity device.

For one week after that orgasm, we will do some mostly non-sexual cuddling and talking before we go to sleep every night; well, maybe a little playful teasing but nothing heavy. There will be no orgasms for me.

To mark the end of my “cooling off” period, we will have a heavy teasing session of at least a half hour or more. This teasing can also be in the form of a “Lady’s Night,” in which I give her a full body massage with scented oils and then bring her to orgasm with fingers, lips, tongue and her favorite wand vibrator. In fact, we have done the first of these since my last orgasm on the mini-honeymoon, and it was fabulously successful. She experienced an hour and a half of total, devoted, attention from me, until she was as limp and relaxed from the massage before being turned into a writhing, moaning mass of female flesh. She finished with a crashing orgasm that had her literally crying in pleasure and happiness at the end.

At the end of the heavy teasing session (or Lady’s Night) we do a drawing from a velvet sack in which there are five black marbles and one white one. Actually, she does the drawing - I wanted even the random play to be in her hands. If a black one was picked (which it was this first time), then there is no orgasm for me in the immediate future. If a white one is selected, then I get to orgasm within three days, but at time and place of her choosing. She can either tell me when that will be beforehand or surprise me.

If a black marble is picked, we do another drawing two days later after a modest teasing session. The previously picked black ball is kept out so it is now four black balls and one white ball. And so it continues, with a black ball selection signaling wait another two days to select again; a white one meaning orgasm for me within the next three days but with the actual time and place of her choosing. We have since made this second drawing and she drew another black ball. She will select again in two days (tomorrow) with three black balls and one white ball in the sack.

This method will have me releasing sometime between 7 and 22 days with the average being about 16 days. From experience, this time period seems to work well for her too (especially with her getting a Lady’s Night or other sexual attention at least every seven days or so). But there is an additional purpose to this. That is to get her comfortable with controlling my orgasm at least for three days after the white marble is picked. Eventually, I will add days to this - one at a time until we get it up to a week after the white ball is picked. When (or if) she becomes comfortable with that, we will extend it a day or two at a time until we get it to two weeks. At that point, with the one week cooling off period, the five black balls to one white ball with selection every other day drawing and then her discretion for two weeks, we will be in the sort of chastity routine that I think I would really like and would work well for hr too.

Having her do some tease and denial of me every couple of days before the drawing will also get that delightful activity into the routine of our life; get it to the point where it is “normal” for her. I am hoping that at some point, when she comfortable with tease and denial, sees its not painful or harmful to me (her main concern she has told me) and enjoys it herself, she will begin to do it on her own initiative.

That would get us to about ninety percent of what I would like to do. What is the other ten percent? How about some light bondage (of me)? Up to now, that has been a hard limit with her. Maybe, with the continuing excitement and fun of this lifestyle she will try it. I won’t push it but I will make it ready and available from time to time to see if she will try it.

What else? How about some anal play (of me)? Until fairly recently, I would have said she would never do this - just too “weird” and she was just too fastidious and squeamish. But, I think it might be possible. I have gotten her to give me external prostate massages as part of my teasing when I’m locked up and she has seen the incredibly pleasurable effect it has on me. Maybe she would agree to do a little internal prostate massage of me with a thin vibrator or probe. Who knows? Again, it’s something I won’t push if she doesn’t want to do it but I will make the toys available from time to time.

As for my fantasy of taking a strap-on, well, I’m not sure I would even want to do this with my wife. I have never fantasized having my wife do this; it is always other women. Maybe that’s my sub-conscience telling me that it wouldn’t be a good idea to do this with my wife. It’s the sort of thing in which the after effect can be difficult to keep within the bedroom and away from the rest of our relationship. And, once done, it can’t be undone - there is no way to “unring” a bell. I am a sexual submissive but my wife doesn’t know it and I don’t think I want her to know it. My sense is that our relationship would be damaged if she did. I have not pitched male chastity using any sort of dominant/submissive kind of language or idea. In fact, I don’t even call it male chastity with her. I just refer to it as our “game,” and the male chastity device as simply “the device.” Maybe some day that will change. I hope so. I have kept this secret for a long time.

Until next time my friends -

Kelmag

Friday, August 20, 2010

Male Chastity - Pleasure and Devotion, the Science Behind It

Male Chastity - Pleasure and Devotion, the Science Behind It


I have been doing some reading lately about the science of sex and more particularly, the science of orgasm. I have been looking to answer a number of questions I’ve had about my own reaction to chastity, such as:

1. Why am I in such a good mood during my periods of chastity?

2. Why are my orgasms, when I do have them, so intense and long-lasting; utterly unlike any orgasms I have experienced before?

3. Why do I have these intense feelings of devotion to my wife, of wanting to help and serve her during my periods of chastity?

4. Why do I lose those intense feelings of devotion after I have orgasmed and do not feel them return until days, sometimes a week or more, afterwards?

5. Why is my wife so much more enthusiastic when we have sex than she was before this chastity experiment?

6. Why does my wife seem to be in a better mood than she had been before, more willing to experiment a little sexually and generally warmer and more playful during our non-sexual time together?

I have had these questions, and others, swirling around in my mind for some time but didn’t feel the need to think and research them more deeply until a couple of things happened. First, in trying to explain to my wife what that powerful feeling of devotion was, I compared it to that post-orgasmic feeling of closeness we always have as we lie entwined with each other after sex, telling each other how lucky we are to have found each other. She remarked, “yes, but that feeling doesn’t last long, does it?” That made me curious as to why it doesn’t last.

Second, I had been following an excellent blog on male chastity, called aptly the Male Chastity Blog (www.malechastityblog.com), written by Sarah Jameson. It has been an font of wisdom, reason and good advice and followed closely the developments of her relationship with her husband, John, and her thoughts about it. In that blog, she described the increasing period of time between orgasms for her husband, from monthly, to every three or four months, to at least seven months, to serious consideration of stretching that to a year or more; and even discussion and consideration of permanent orgasm denial (gulp!).

Sarah has also recently written a book on male chastity called “Be Careful What You Wish For,” a superb collection of her thoughts, wisdom and advice on whether male chastity is right for you; if it is, how to go about adopting that lifestyle and how to make it work for you as a couple. One thing she discusses in that book is her thinking on extending the period between orgasms for her husband. Her reasoning is logical, in fact mathematical in nature. First, she states that she and her husband’s experience with male chastity so far has established a clear pattern that whenever John orgasmed, he lost that feeling of devotion, that powerful feeling of wanting to help and serve his wife for 7-10 days. Then, she projected that pattern and its results on letting John orgasm every month and found that for every year, they (and especially she) would lose that special devotion generated by male chastity, in aggregate, for three to four months. She considered that loss much too high to permit if she didn’t have to, and she didn’t have to. John seemed perfectly content with the less frequent orgasms as long as there were frequent periods of sexual play, touching and teasing - even if it was ostensibly just for Sarah’s benefit.

That description of John’s lost devotion after orgasm and his general state of happiness while he was chaste closely matched my own experience and made me wonder just what was the best duration of chastity for me. During my own experiment in male chastity, the longest period I had gone without orgasm was 18 days and I recalled feeling as though I was jumping out of my skin I was so excited by the prospect of sexual release. Should I go longer, and if so, how? Can I be trained over time to extend the duration?

I began researching my questions by trying to understand the mood change that occurs after orgasm, particularly after a lengthy period of chastity. From previous experience, I knew moods are often dependent on the presence, concentration or absence of certain neurotransmitters. So I began my internet search with “sex and neurotransmitters,” and “orgasm and neurotransmitters.” What I found is that the relationship of sex and orgasm to our mood is not a mystery; the biochemical mechanisms are well understood. And, I discovered that those mechanisms provide the answers to not only all of the questions I had about mood change and male chastity but many questions I hadn’t even thought of yet. At the end of this article, I will list some web sites that would be of interest in understanding these mechanisms. Each of those sites, in turn, provide links for further research and investigation.

There are a number of different neurotransmitters involved in shaping our moods throughout our life but the three dominant, key ones where sex and orgasm are concerned are dopamine, prolactin and oxytocin. A fourth factor is the concentration of receptors for these neurotransmitters, in particular those for dopamine. Sexual activity and orgasm generate predictable patterns in the levels of each of the three transmitters as well as receptors. Men and women have distinctly different patterns which have evolved over time to deal with the imperatives of species survival - i.e successfully passing on one’s own genes. In particular, gene pool mixing and the care of off-spring so they survive long enough to pass their genes on.

This is not an article about evolution, but suffice to say that the feelings and behaviors those neurotransmitters generate that are related to survival (that is, gene survival) exist in us today because they were the most successful in allowing our ancestors to survive and procreate, and for allowing their progeny to survive and have a chance to also procreate. The neurotransmitters dopamine, prolactin and oxytocin exist and work the way they do because in the world of long ago, when our ancestors evolved, they provided an advantage in procreation and in survival of the resulting progeny.

Okay, so let’s introduce the “stage” and the three main actors in this ongoing play:

First, the stage for all of this is our brain; in particular the part of our brain in the limbic system called the “reward center.” All of our physical senses like taste, smell and touch only provide signals to the brain which the brain receives and processes resulting in the generation of neurotransmitters. Our genitals are just one of many such signal senders.

The three “actors” are:

Dopamine - the neurotransmitter that causes the feeling of pleasure we receive from engaging in certain activities. Sexual arousal, the eating of calorie rich foods, and for some people, certain other behaviors like gambling or shopping. The ingestion of certain drugs like cocaine, amphetamines and heroin also raise the level of dopamine in our reward center. This rising level of dopamine is experienced as pleasure and the higher the level, the more intense the pleasure provided there are sufficient receptors to accommodate the rising level. The intense pleasure of orgasm that we experience results from the sudden flood of dopamine that is released in the reward center of our brain.

Prolactin - the neurotransmitter of satiation; it applies the brakes, so to speak, on the level and duration of dopamine and oxytocin ( it affects oxytocin indirectly by its effect on dopamine). Prolactin levels generally remain stable in the reward center of the brain except during orgasm when they are substantially increased to deal with (i.e counteract or reduce the level of) the sudden flood of dopamine and oxytocin. The elevated levels of prolactin after orgasm persist in the reward center for one week to two weeks.

Oxytocin - often called the “cuddle hormone,” when the level is elevated, produces the pleasurable feeling of bonding or “connectedness,” as well as feelings of closeness, devotion and protection. It is the primary factor in establishing the basis for pair bonding. A burst of oxytocin is produced during orgasm and is responsible for the post orgasmic afterglow feelings of love and connectedness . After orgasm, in men, the level or oxytocin quickly drops - in less than an hour it is well below the level it was at before sexual arousal began. In women, the post orgasmic level of oxytocin decreases more slowly reaching normal levels in several hours and remaining there. In addition to orgasm, the other mechanism for raising the level of oxytocin is touching and caressing, not necessarily in a sexual manner; even the simple act of holding hands will raise oxytocin levels in both men and women. When the level of oxytocin is reduced to at or below normal levels, despite the reduction of the powerful bonding feeling, the memory of that feeling remains. It is that memory that provides the basis for long term relationships to survive the dopamine/prolactin roller coaster.


As discussed in the section on oxytocin, the manner in which dopamine and prolactin rises and falls during and after orgasm is quite different in men than in women. In men, the curve tracing the increase and decrease of dopamine through sexual arousal, orgasm and aftermath is saw-tooth shaped. There is a gradual rise during sexual arousal with the gradient or slope increasing as he approaches orgasm. At orgasm, the slope is nearly vertical as it is the sudden burst of dopamine that is experienced as intense pleasure by men. The feeling of intense pleasure lasts only 5-10 seconds in most men (4-12 muscular contractions about 0.8 seconds apart according to Masters and Johnson). This burst of dopamine triggers a nearly concurrent burst of prolactin causing the level of dopamine to “fall off a cliff” in a nearly vertical descent after orgasm. The result of the dueling neurotransmitters just minutes after orgasm is a dopamine level that is well below the level it was before the sexual arousal leading to orgasm started with a concurrently high level of prolactin that persists above the normal level for up to two weeks.

For women, the picture is quite different. Perhaps because of different survival and procreation imperatives, or because women’s dopamine levels are largely driven by their menstrual cycles (high levels at fertility, highest at ovulation, lowest at the end of the cycle when not fertile - this low dopamine level is often experienced as PMS irritability and also, often, an insatiable appetite for calorie rich foods which is a way of raising dopamine levels back to normal), a women’s dopamine curve is smoother, shaped more like a flattened sine wave which, if looked at in detail, is a series of pyramid like steps with small rises and drops followed by a period of leveling or a plateau. So, during sexual arousal, a woman's dopamine level rises in a series of steps (the plateaus accounting for the generally longer foreplay period required by women before orgasm). At orgasm, the dopamine level peaks but does not drop off drastically, descending instead in a series of steps because, unlike men, her prolactin levels rise only a little above normal and continue at that level only long enough to return her dopamine level to the level which is normal for where she is in her menstrual cycle.

Now that we understand the dopamine/prolactin cycle and the oxytocin cycle, let's look at the moods and feelings that are associated with normal or somewhat elevated levels versus low levels of dopamine; excess versus normal levels of prolactin; and higher versus lower levels of oxytocin.

Dopamine:

Normal/Somewhat Elevated: Motivated, Feelings of well-being, pleasure in accomplishing tasks, healthy libido, optimistic about life, good feelings towards others, a desire to bond with others, sound choices.

Low Level: depression, Anhedonia (no pleasure, the world looks colorless), lack of ambition and drive, inability to feel love, low libido, no remorse about personal behavior, social anxiety, impaired judgment.



Prolactin

The symptoms associated with excess levels of prolactin are:
lethargy, loss of libido, depression, irritability, infertility, decreased testosterone levels, weight gain, little interest in bonding with others and pessimistic about life.


Oxytocin:

Normal/Elevated: strong feelings of attachment, devotion and connection; increased sexual receptivity, positive feelings, health benefits (lowers blood pressure, faster wound healing) fewer cravings and addictions, feelings of protection and responsibility.

Low Levels: little or no feelings of attachment, devotion or connection, little or no feelings of protection and responsibility for another, low libido, depression and weakened immune system.


Now let’s walk an average, middle-aged, married couple through their respective neurotransmitter cycles, assuming they have sex to the man’s orgasm about twice per week (with the woman reaching orgasm about half the time):

For the man, it’s a dopamine/prolactin roller coaster of pleasure and depression with him experiencing the pleasure of elevated dopamine and oxytocin for relatively brief periods of sexual arousal and orgasm while spending most of his time experiencing the lethargy, depression and loss of connectedness of low levels of dopamine and oxytocin with high levels of prolactin. To compensate for this, the man will attempt to raise his dopamine levels to feel good again by doing things in which his brain has, through experience, already developed pathways for responding with dopamine surges. This includes over-eating, use of dopamine raising drugs - legal and illegal (alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, cocaine, amphetamines, opiates), looking at porn, masturbation, sexual liaisons with others, particularly those involving risk (New York Governor Spitzer and President Clinton come to mind - both of whom paid a high price for living with a dysfunctional dopamine/prolactin cycle), etc..

Importantly, along with the negative effects of low dopamine, there is also the lost feeling of connection and ability to love with low oxytocin levels. The moods and feelings generated by low dopamine levels often prevent the very thing necessary to raise oxytocin levels - touching and caressing of his wife or by his wife, physical closeness and intimate communications.

With the persistence of prolactin in the brain after every orgasm preventing the return of dopamine levels to normal, a man who orgasms every few days and/or masturbates with that kind of frequency (or more often) is continuously stuck in a cycle in which he never returns to a normal level of dopamine and is constantly seeking ways to boost those levels. Moreover, he is unable to consistently maintain an emotional connection to his wife.

It should be noted that this type of cycle probably exists because it was very advantageous to the survival of ancient man’s genes that he seek quantity and variety for sex - ensuring the continuance of his genes by placing them with as many women as he could. He was a dopamine driven creature, with occasional bursts of dopamine rewarding his sexual behavior - passing his genes along, but persistent low levels of dopamine to drive him to seek sex again with an even larger boost if it is with a different partner.
(Note: There is a funny if possibly apocryphal story about this involving President Calvin Coolidge - google the term Sex and “Coolidge Effect” to find it.)

It should also be noted that the mechanism for gene survival is completely disinterested in the feelings of the man - whether or not he feels good or bad most of the time; or for that matter the feelings of the women with whom he has sex. This is, of course, at odds with our modern desire to be happy in our life.

For the woman in this marriage, her dopamine levels are largely controlled by her menstrual cycle with her experiences of elevated levels at orgasm and slower, more gradual drop off in dopamine levels that help maintain her feelings of well-being but with the mood, attitude and behavior of her dopamine deprived husband alienating her from him emotionally. There is a constant interplay of low dopamine affected husband, resulting withdrawal of affection by the wife and resulting decreased oxytocin levels in both of them that creates problems in the marriage. It is important to recognize that orgasm by the woman does not have the same severe, adverse effect on her dopamine levels as is the case with a man. The man's emotional detachment after orgasm is not a mystery. It is biologically driven and has little to do with the acts or omissions of his mate.

One more quick note about the fourth factor, the level or concentration of dopamine receptors - with respect to the man who masturbates a lot or looks at a lot or porn to raise his dopamine levels. The law of diminishing returns applies. Just as in the case of a cocaine addict needing more and more of the drug to generate the same rush of pleasure and, over time, not even getting much pleasure, eventually needing the drug just not to feel bad, the man who has frequent orgasms causes his brain to down-regulate the number of dopamine receptors so there is a diminishing intensity of pleasure felt because the surges of dopamine at orgasm do not have receptors to bind to. It also explains the greatly enhanced feelings of pleasure felt by men who orgasms infrequently; men who have comparatively high concentrations of receptors.

Now, let’s look at the dopamine/prolactin/oxytocin cycle with the same middle-aged couple in which the man is allowed to orgasm only once every three months (as the Male Chastity Blog writer, Sarah Jameson, permits for her husband, John). In this scenario, the woman is allowed to orgasm whenever she wishes, usually during sex play with her husband. For the chaste man, after his last orgasm, he is in the same situation as the “normal” married man who has just had an orgasm. He has low dopamine and oxytocin levels, and high prolactin levels.

But unlike the man who keeps having orgasms inside of his dopamine recovery period and therefore remains chronically low in dopamine, the chaste man does not orgasm again for some months. Within a week or so his dopamine not only returns to normal levels but over time it is further elevated by frequent sex play and intimacy, especially with teasing and denial. Moreover, just wearing the chastity device raises his level of dopamine because of the continuous, low level of arousal he receives from the awareness of his genitals and the fact that he has turned over control of his orgasm to his wife.

(Note: The turnover of sexual control is one of the reward pathways that the chaste man may have developed sometime in his past; a reward pathway being a behavior which reliably raises dopamine. Generally, the male chastity lifestyle will work best when the man has already developed that reward pathway, i.e. already desires or even craves turning over control. It is possible that this reward pathway can be developed in a man that doesn’t already have it. The craving of every type of sexual “kink” can be understood in this way. They are all attempts to boost dopamine levels using pre-established reward pathways that the person has developed in the past which reliably provided a dopamine burst when activated.)

The key to the chaste man’s long term mood elevation - his increased feelings of happiness and satisfaction, is that although his dopamine levels are continuously being raised above normal for the months in between orgasms, without orgasm he never triggers the surge in prolactin that lowers dopamine levels. Throughout the day, every day he is in his chastity belt, aware that he has turned over control of his orgasm to his wife, his dopamine level stays elevated. During sexual play and intimacy, when he is teased and denied, particularly when teased to just short or orgasm, his dopamine level is boosted without triggering the corresponding, counterweight of prolactin to defeat it. Making love to his wife and bringing her to orgasm is incredibly arousing for him, boosting his dopamine levels with no subsequent sudden drop of dopamine level for him because he doesn’t orgasm himself.

In her blog, Sarah relates that in trying to understand why her husband craves chastity, he said it was because he was constantly aroused, that he was “half-way to orgasm” all the time. Biochemically, he was exactly right. He had discovered that in terms of overall happiness, it was better to be half way to orgasm 95% of the time than all the way to orgasm .01% and no way to orgasm the other 99.99% of the time.

What about oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone?” After orgasm and the short term boost of oxytocin, the chaste man suffers the same fade to below normal levels. But, unlike the man who orgasms frequently, his dopamine and oxytocin levels are restored to normal after a week or so. The chaste man spends most of his life with high dopamine and high oxytocin levels (helped along by his loving wife who appreciates the mood and attitude of her high dopamine, high oxytocin level mate) who lavishes lots of physical attention on him. Touch and caress, hand holding and massages, warm intimate talks are a regular part of their daily lives.

Rather than feeling depression and alienation from low levels of dopamine and oxytocin, most of the time the chaste man feels positive, motivated and devoted to his wife. One of the most consistent reports of changes that occur in a relationship when a male chastity lifestyle is adopted is the male’s greatly increased attention, cooperation and personal service to his wife. This extends to all parts of their relationship, from the way he constantly hugs, touches and showers affection on his wife to his perfect willingness to do domestic chores like the laundry and dishes that he previously wouldn’t go near. It is one of the discovered joys of male chastity for the female mate of the chaste man and usually quickly turns them from anxious skeptics to fully committed believers who never wants to go back to the way it was.

What is the ideal time between orgasms for the male? That it is personal choice for the two individuals involved in the relationship. It’s a trade-off between the desire by the man to experience the intense pleasure of orgasm (greatly amplified by the infrequency with enhanced receptor concentration) while minimizing the period the low dopamine level loss of feelings of well-being. For the female, the trade-off is a complex mix of what she believes is best for her mate whom she loves, what is best for their relationship, and frankly what is best for her. Realistically, every time her mate orgasms, she can expect one to two weeks of a low dopamine, low oxytocin mate with the attendant loss of attention and devotion that she enjoys the rest of the time.

So some of this is basic arithmetic that depends upon what I will term the “Devotion Refractory Period,” taken from the term “male refractory period” which describes the period of time after orgasm in which the male cannot erect and orgasm again. In this context, the devotion refractory period is how long it takes after orgasm for the male’s dopamine and oxytocin levels to recover so that he is again a happy, devoted mate who is once again lavishing his attention on her and performing any number of useful services.

In her book, “Be Careful What You Wish For,” Sarah estimates the period before her husband, John, recovers those feelings of intense devotion for her as about ten days. Figuring that if she allowed him to orgasm every month, then in a year she would lose about 120 days or fully one third of the year of focused, devoted attention by her mate; and he would suffer a depressed mood and emotional alienation for the same period. Sarah decided that this loss was too high a price to pay for giving him the pleasure of monthly orgasms and instead she went to once every three months . Significantly, she noted that although she had the absolute right in their arrangement to do this, she certainly took into account her mate’s feelings and found that he didn’t seem to mind. He wanted to orgasm but craved denial.

So, what does this scientific analysis mean for our understanding of sex and orgasms and the effect it has on our relationship? . First, we now understand that the mechanism, the dopamine/prolactin/oxytocin cycle, was simply the most successful way for man to pass along his genes so it was that mechanism that survives to this day. This mechanism was indifferent to the feelings of men and their mates caught up in it. This is contrary to our modern day personal objective of being a happy, fulfilled and deeply connected person in our relationships. Simply put, male chastity is one way of correcting the mismatch between ancient, biological imperatives and our own modern, personal desires.

The following are some of the useful web sites I found in researching this. Each of these sites, in turn, included numerous links to more information which I also used as needed. The book, "Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow," by Marnia Robinson, was one of several important references for the science and is very interesting reading on its own.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/12/health/12well.html?_r=3&ref=science&oref=slogin

http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2008/02/dopamine_and_orgasm.php

http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_in_the_brain

http://www.reuniting.info/science/dopamine_separation_after_orgasm

Monday, August 16, 2010

An "Aha" Moment

An “Aha” Moment

In every successful transition to a Male Chastity Lifestyle Relationship, there is a moment when it becomes clear that the person being induced to go along with male chastity suddenly “gets it,” i.e. understands the importance of chastity to the person introducing it and the benefits of chastity to the relationship and to themselves. I think my wife has just had such a moment.

I had been wearing my chastity device pretty close to 24/7 for couple of months, taking it off daily to thoroughly clean it and myself, when my wife asked me to take it off and leave it home during our ten day vacation out of town. She explained that since we would be sharing a condo with another family, she was concerned that they might accidently discover it. She said she would be mortified and unable to face them again if that happened and she didn’t want to chance it.

As I explained in my last post, she had been starting to come around and accept my wearing the device and even began to actively touch and tease me when I had it on during the start of sex play. She was somewhat resistant to wearing the key I had given her but agreed to wear it at least for the 24 hours preceding the time of a planned date for some sex play and my release. Given the progress she was making, I acceded to her wishes to leave the device home.

Well, the vacation had its problems. The living quarters were smaller than we thought and with only one bathroom, it became in exercise in futility just to get in there for a few minutes in the morning. Every activity and meal devolved into a lengthy negotiation to satisfy all members of both families, and then getting everybody actually out the door to go someplace was like herding cats. Frankly, as much as we liked this other family, they starting to get on our nerves after a while. They probably felt the same way about us.

As the vacation wore on, I found myself becoming a little short-tempered and just generally in a foul mood. By the time we drove home, my wife and I were becoming increasingly short with each other. The final forty miles through bumper to bumper traffic in southern California brought a constant exchange of sarcastic comments and bickering between us. The last ten miles were passed in silence.

Now, it had been eight months since I started experimenting with male chastity and wearing a chastity device. During that time, my wife and I hadn’t bickered once - in fact, I don’t think even a cross word passed between us. I was so caught up in my anger and resentment, that it didn’t occur to me that my bad mood (and her responding bad mood) was related to the fact that I hadn’t worn my chastity device for that ten day period. We’d had sex during that ten day period, once, furtively and quietly so our cohabiting family wouldn’t hear us. It was, in a word, disappointing for both of us. Without the device on, I had also reverted to masturbating almost daily - receiving little satisfaction except for the momentary relief of orgasm.

Well, although it didn’t occur to me that my bad mood was related to not wearing the chastity device, it didn’t escape my wife. As soon as we got home, she immediately went inside and put the gold chain with my device key around her neck and showed it to me, smiling as she dangled it in front of me. I smiled back, immediately put my chastity device back on and we hugged, kissed and gently caressed each other, both of us apologizing for our behavior towards each other. My wife had experienced an “Aha” moment where she recognized with clarity the importance of chastity to me, our relationship and herself.

Since then, she has been wearing the key regularly without my asking her to put it on. She hands me the key in the morning to remove the device for my shower and its cleaning and puts the key back on when I return it to her. She does take it off from time to time when wearing certain outfits afraid she will blush and stammer if asked about it by a friend. To solve this problem, I have ordered a silver locket that is just the right size to hold the key to my chastity device Master Lock. I will have it engraved with our initials (in fancy script) on the front and an inscription on the back which will read:
“You will always hold the key to my heart.
Je t’aime - K.”

I haven’t told her about the locket yet. I will give it to her on our anniversary which will be in a couple of weeks.

The change in my mood after donning the chastity device was amazing. I can only describe it as a general feeling of well-being and security. It also made me very happy to see my wife’s continuing progress along the chastity lifestyle path and her growing awareness of its importance to us.

I have been thinking about what this mood change is all about - why it happens; what is the source. I have developed a theory of sorts which I will write about in a subsequent blog entry.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

The New Normal

The New Normal

It has been some time since I’ve last written - about three months. Part of the delay was simply life getting in the way of kink. The other part was simply my desire to only write when I have something worth writing about, i.e. a change in the situation or a new revelation. In a sense we have both.

If you have read my previous blog entries, you know my wife is a lifelong, pure vanilla devotee - no kink whatsoever and our twenty year marriage reflected that. I have has very strong submissive feelings and fantasies my entire life that I have covered up but have found it increasingly difficult to keep the cover on. Last January, I discovered the chastity sub-culture and it had an immediate appeal to me - in fact it seemed to touch something in my very core. I decided to try it - unilaterally, obtaining and wearing a CB-6000 device, off and on, for more than a month without my wife knowing about it.

After the first several weeks of adjustment, finding the right size combinations and the best methods for me of putting it on and wearing it for all activities, I started wearing it almost 24/7, still without my wife’s knowledge. It said something about our marriage and the lack of spontaneous physical touching that she never knew I had it on. She did, however, notice a marked change in my attitude - my degree of solicitude and helpfulness had obviously changed for the better. As if by magic, laundry started getting done, meals prepared and cleaned up and beds made by me without being asked. Moreover, I started focusing more of my attention on her, actively listening as she spoke and letting her lead the conversation.

I finally revealed to her what I had been doing during a mini-vacation at a seaside hotel we like to go to in our home city whenever we can get away for a night or two and don’t want to travel. We had a long conversation - my wife was at first embarrassed that I had been wearing the device all of that time without her knowing about it - immediately understanding what that said about our daily level of physical intimacy. She was also mystified about why I would wear such a thing and revolted by its appearance - likening it to the mask of Hannibal Lectur. She used words like “creepy” and “weird” to describe it (and by inference, me).

But, she also admitted that she had noticed a distinct change in my behavior, for the good and greatly appreciated the change in my attitude. I did not admit to my submissive desires (I think I was already “creepy” and “weird” enough in her eyes without adding that to the mix), but couched my interest in the device (not using the word “chastity”) as a combination of sexual enhancement and a method of weight loss. I explained that the device greatly enhanced the power and duration of my orgasms because of the extended period of sensory deprivation (which was completely true - it does have a enormous magnifying effect for me), and that I wished to use the incentive of sex with this enhanced sexual response to drive my weight loss program - not allowing myself sexual relations until I lost each successive pound for a 15 pound loss.

As I expected, she was suspicious, hesitant and did not embrace the idea at all. My sense was that she would simply ignore it, enjoy the benefits but simply hope that the “weird, “creepy” thing that had intruded upon her marriage would simply disappear when I got bored with it. And she did pretty much what I expected. She ignored the device; wouldn’t touch it, even through my clothes, and took no notice of it in conversation.

But one part of the new program she did buy into completely was the “no sex until I lost a pound.” First, she did want me to lose some weight - I had battled my weight most of my life and succeeded for a long time in keeping it down. The last few years it had started to creep back up. Second, she liked the idea of no sex until some criteria was met - thereby giving her notice of sex and freeing her from pressure for sex from me at all other times. Her libido had been depressed for a long time - she rarely wanted sex, never initiated it and often just seemed to go along with it at my request. Unfortunately, her performance reflected her lack of interest and, despite her going through the motions and me reaching orgasm, often the sex was unsatisfying for me. From her point of view, she could prepare herself for a known “sex date,” much better than dealing with daily pressure from me.

And so we embarked on the program and it was fabulously successful for both of us. I lost the weight - the desire for sex was a very effective incentive for me to resist food and exercise on a daily basis to make my one pound loss every four or five days or so. Wearing the device did enhance the intensity of my orgasm and keep me in a constant state of arousal. But of equal importance, my wife came alive during our sexual encounters. Part of that was her willing participation - not just giving in to pressure from me (and resenting it); and part of it was her new found power to arouse me, to make me jump at her slightest touch. It was empowering for her and renewed the long lost feeling that she was a sexual being. Moreover, the passion and heat of out lovemaking was off the charts - unlike anything we had experienced together since we dated and perhaps the first year of marriage. The fire was back and she was experiencing the most intense, satisfying orgasms than any she could remember.

And so it went for about two months - about the time it took me to lose the weight. After the weight was lost, we switched to a “game” type arrangement. We used dice to determine how many days it would be until our next sexual encounter at a “ceremony” we would do the night after our last sexual encounter - using soft music, scented candles and lots of intimate conversation. I was nude except for my device - she was in sexy lingerie. The first few times we did the ceremony, the results were numbers like eight, nine and ten. My wife loved this new arrangement - less frequent sex, no pressure for sex - ever, new found sexual empowerment for her - the ability to make me jump at her sexual touch, much more enjoyable sex for her when we did have it with body quivering orgasms every time, and a much more helpful and sensitive husband.

As for myself, although the sexual release was less frequent, the quality more than made up for the lower quantity. In fact, there was no comparison between the often brief, tepid lovemaking of before with relatively feeble orgasms and the hot passionate lovemaking of the present with earthshaking orgasms that seemed to go on forever; the happier, more physically intimate wife - even in between lovemaking sessions, and the complete removal of tensions and resentments from our mismatched libidos.

It was a complete win for both of us. The only thing lacking for me was her participation in the “chastity” game - her active recognition of the device and the situation. For a long time it just seemed outside of her “normal” box and she wouldn’t tease or play with me while I was in the device (or even when I wasn’t unless it was during an actual lovemaking session). Slowly that changed as her concept of normal slowly shifted with my consistent wearing of the device - almost 24/7. At first, she would surreptitiously check me out with a thigh pressed between my legs when we hugged goodbye. That progressed to an “oops, excuse me” brush of her hand across my crotch while we walked together or hugged. Finally, she began making explicit “checkouts” of whether I was “enclosed,” and that elicited a smile every time she found that I was.

She had a mind set that the chastity device was painful for me or at least uncomfortable and that if she teased or aroused me it would be more painful or uncomfortable. I did everything I could to reassure her, to convince her that it was not painful and that any discomfort was a “good discomfort” for me as it gave me a sexual buzz - comparing it to the extended pleasurable plateau she attained prior to orgasm. It was a difficult sell - she just didn’t believe me. I even did several “Lady’s Nights” while I was wearing the device where I slowly massaged her body with scented oils and then brought her multiple crashing orgasms with lips, fingers and her favorite wand vibrator. In each case, although I was highly aroused by it all and let her see the result she was having on me with my constrained erection and tightly pinched balls as the erection pulled the ring away from my body, I emphasized that I was not in pain and that I was enjoying it all very much.

Again, it was time and repetition that seemed to bring her around to believing that she would not cause me pain by touching or teasing me when I had the device on. Although still hesitant, she began to tease me at my request, at first with deliberate brushes of my crotch while clothed; then finally progressing to touching the device and my enclosed dick under my shorts during brief teasing sessions. It took several weeks of this before she was comfortable seeing me in the device while otherwise nude and actually touching it and me. Although still hesitant, I could see she was starting to enjoy the effect she had on me while constrained like that. She told me it gave her a tremendous boost of confidence in her sexual power.

Over the course of the next several weeks, I introduced the idea of extended teasing between and during our sexual encounters. I encouraged her to bring me to the edge of orgasm and then stop while I serviced her to an orgasm. I told her, truthfully, that it enhanced the intensity of my eventual orgasm and gave me a tremendous sexual buzz while she was doing it. Tentatively at first, and then with more confidence, she started teasing me for a few minutes every few nights with my encouragement, and then also for a few minutes during our sexual encounters. I also asked and she agreed to wear my key for 24 hours before our sexual encounter with me enclosed and locked up with a heart-shaped lock during that time (at other times, I use a lanyard type clip to keep the chastity device closed since she told me she had no interest or desire to control when I had the device on). I considered this also a significant breakthrough because once she had the key on, she began to actively play the sexually dominant role - threatening playfully to “lose the key” if something she wanted me to do wasn’t done.

Well, at the beginning of July, my wife underwent a minor medical procedure which put her out of sexual action for about ten days. We would be attending a wedding the following weekend at a hotel very near our favorite hotel in the city for our mini-vacation trysts. We decided we would hold off on our next sexual encounter until then - a full seventeen days from our last get together and my last orgasm and then stay overnight at our favorite hotel before the wedding. It would be the longest time I had gone without a sexual release since I had reached puberty (once I discovered masturbation, I rarely went a day without it as a teenager).

It was a difficult two and half weeks. First taking care of my wife as she recovered and all of the house chores (in addition to my work); and doing all this while remaining chaste, securely enclosed in my chastity device. The day before we left for the hotel, I offered her the key which she keeps on a silver chain I gave, hung in the closet. I also had her close the lock on my device, securing me in there, also a first for her. Also that day, I sent her a note telling how much I loved her and how great our relationship has been for the last six months. I also mentioned that I loved the teasing of me she had been doing.

We checked into the hotel the following afternoon and spent the afternoon at their luxurious pool in a private cabana. I had mixed us a couple of three quarter liter bottles of vodka and lemonade. As I usually did, I made hers twice as strong as mine since too much alcohol adversely affects my sexual performance (I’m a light weight when it comes to drinking, I admit it); and she comes alive and loses some of her inhibitions with more alcohol, at least up to a point. It was a long three hours - under my swim suit, my dick was straining at the chastity device as I daydreamed about what would be happening later. I think I was stiff under the unyielding plastic cage for just about the entire time.

While I squirmed in heated anticipation, my wife relaxed on her padded, lounge chair, sipping her drink from an iced, plastic cup and leafing through her copies of People and Self magazine. She didn’t seem to have a care in the world and in no particular hurry to retire to our room. More than once, I looked over under my dark sunglasses and admired her beautiful, lithe form in her high cut, single piece, black bathing suit. At five foot eight and about one hundred and twenty five pounds, my naturally blonde wife still cuts an exciting, sexy figure even as she nears fifty. She is all the woman I want - all the woman I need.

Finally she finished her drink, smiled over at me and silently began packing up her stuff in the beach bag. I didn’t need any more of a hint. Even with the restraining chastity device, my erection was visible through my loose bathing suit if you looked carefully - and this with the short version of the CB-6000 (I’m a grower, not a shower). I immediately took her full beach bag - she smiled again with that knowing, “I’ve got you totally under my power now” smile.

When we returned to the room, I opened up a bottle of Champagne that I had on ice - popping a Champagne cork always seemed to lend an additional festive air to any occasion. I poured us each a generous portion in the flutes I had brought; we clinked glasses in a toast to us and the passion of life. Then she told me to wait while she went into the bathroom to change - she said she had “a little surprise for me.” I saw her pull a red shopping bag out of her luggage bag and just caught the name “Frederick’s of Hollywood” in bold, black script on it.

As soon as she disappeared into the bathroom, I went about making preparations. This included laying out various lubricants and lotions and several vibrators, including that wand vibrator she likes so much. I always take the precaution of bringing along an extension cord when we go to a hotel - you never know where the outlet will be. I then changed into a black thong that I think shows off my abdominals well and highlights the bulge of my crotch. Finally, I looped a light bondage item - a Japanese silk rope, basically two connected loops with slip knots, to the base of the headboard. She had always refused to use any sort of bondage on me - even the lightest, most innocent items, but hope springs eternal in my heart (and elsewhere), figuring we had broken through a lot of limits and taboos these last several months - maybe we would do one more. I reclined on the bed and awaited her.

I few minutes later, I heard the bathroom door open and out she came. She didn’t disappoint me, that’s for sure. Her “surprise” was an incredibly sexy red, velvet bustier that hugged and accentuated her beautiful figure. Below she had on crotchless, black lace panties and sheer, black, nylon stockings, trimmed in the same red velvet as the bustier. I could feel the buzz of sexual excitement in my groin as my PC muscles involuntarily contracted. I told her how incredibly sexy she looked. As she crawled up on the bed, over my reclined body, I noticed the silver chain dangling from her neck, the small, silver key swaying inches above my eyes. She looked down at me as she said, “yes, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” With my voice caught in my throat I could only nod yes, smiling about as widely as my face would permit. “Well, maybe I’ll let you out and maybe I won’t,” she purred, as she crawled further up my prostrate body until she was kneeling above my upper chest, her smooth, stockinged legs pressed against my shoulders.

This was something new - she was presenting herself for oral sex. In the past, I had always had to initiate this - she had always been very shy and self-conscious about her nether region. As she loomed over my appreciative eyes, I could see that she must have gotten herself freshly waxed. She had only a few light wisps of her silky, fine blonde pubic hair framing her beautiful pussy, with a small tuft of the wheat colored hair above her slit. I could see she was already aroused - her pussy lips puffy and already parted like the petals of a rose. I had never seen her that aroused at the start - it usually took a half hour or so of foreplay to get her in that state. She pushed her pussy towards my mouth in an unspoken directive to get started. I didn’t need a second invitation.

I began with a long, slow swipe of my tongue along the length of her slit, beginning with the patch of soft skin between her vagina and anus and working upward in a slow, continuous climb to the very top of her slit, stopping at the top - feeling the hardness of her clitoral shaft through its covering hood. I flattened my tongue at the top base of her clit and kept it there for several seconds until I felt her shudder in response and automatically press her slit forward to get more pressure on her clit. I did this twice more, getting a stronger shudder each time accompanied by a moan of pleasure, “Yessssssss,” is all she said.

I continued to lave her moistening slit, her nether lips growing thicker as they engorged with blood; her clit hardening and growing until the pearl-like head emerged from its protective hood. She began thrusting her hips at my lips, then grasping both sides of my head with her hands, fingers entwined in my thick, wavy hair. She humping harder and faster as my tongue and lips tried to keep up but it was no use - it was too fast, she was moving too fast for my tongue to find anything but the general area between her lips. Finally, she angled her hips up and I found her wet opening. I slid my tongue in as she thrust her hips hard into my face. I felt her react immediately to my plunging tongue, moaning loudly in pleasure.
I felt the pressure of her weight shift as she leaned over me but couldn’t see what she was doing with my face buried in her crotch. Thus, I was startled and jumped when I heard the loud “buzz” of the vibrator as she applied the tip of the three inch mini-vibe to the side of her clit. She also stiffened immediately at the first touch and a low moan escaped from her lips. She began rocking her hips, thrusting her hole on my stiff tongue as she pressed the powerful little vibrator against her bud. In less than a minute, she came hard, bucking wildly on top of my chest, grinding herself hard on my mouth as she jerked and spasmed, her inner thighs gripped the sides of my face so hard that it hurt. She came and came, finally slowing as she slumped down over my face, completely engulfing it with her slick, wet torso.

We stayed like that for several minutes, me barely able to breath through my nose which was buried in her lower abdomen. I felt her chest on top of my head rising and falling with her deep breaths, rapid at first and then slowing as I felt all of the tension in her body release.

“Oh baby, that was so good,” she whispered in my ear.

I could taste the musk of her juices on my tongue, still buried deep within her hole as she began to move on top of me, unfolding herself from my face and pulling her hips back, finally breaking contact with my lips and tongue as she continued to unfold herself and extend her legs back on top of me. She slid down until her face was over mine, her eyes locked onto me. She flipped her long, blonde hair out of her eyes and then nestled her cheek into the crevice between my neck and collarbone. I felt her smooth, stockinged thighs hug by chastity device enclosed cock and give it a little squeeze. I reacted immediately to the pressure, instinctively thrusting my hips up in a useless gesture to generate some friction and pressure on my plastic enclosed shaft.

I continued to buck my hips and she reciprocated, thrusting her hips back at me and squeezing her thighs. I heard her giggle as she realized my predicament. She was enjoying the game, the tease. I felt her rise up and slowly roll off of me. My disappointment was brief as I saw her turnaround and back up over me, her knees straddling my face, her glistening slit inches from my lips. Looking up, I could see her deliciously round, alabaster white ass which parted as she spread her knees to lower herself, revealing the pink rosebud of her asshole.

It was only as she extended one shapely leg across my chest and lowered her slit to my lips that I realized that she had really gotten into the tease thing. She was enjoying it as much as me and wanted to do it more. I was all for it as she reached my plastic encased shaft with the toes of her stockinged foot and started to play with it, rolling it around - left and right, back and forth, slipping her toes under my balls and lifting them; pressing down on the sensitive spot below my scrotum with her heel. I squirmed under her, my dick fully engorged and straining against the plastic sheath restraining it. Despite the device, I was fully erect, my growing dick having pulled the restraining ring away from my body so far that it was fully two inches from my pubic mound. The pressure of the ring on my trapped balls was intense but strangely pleasurable. Fortunately, my scrotum had been stretched from my many months of wearing the device so it was able to accommodate the irresistible pull of my pressurized cock.

Looking up at her crack, I remembered the Japanese rope loops I had placed at the bottom of the headboard. I reached up around my wife and felt for them with my fingers. I wiggled the loops, tickling her ass with them. She looked back over her shoulder momentarily and then looked back down at me. “Nope, none of that stuff tonight honey,” she said, dismissing any idea of bondage. Clearly, I would not be topping from the bottom this time. For the first time, she seemed to have her own ideas of what she wanted to do.

After a little more teasing with her foot, her slit just out of reach of my tongue, she shifted again and then, apparently uncomfortable with the contorted position, rose up and slid off of me, finally sitting on side of the bed near the night stand. I immediately sat up and followed, straddling her hips with my legs, pressing my plastic enclosed shaft against her butt. She rose up slightly off the bed but remained squatting over it. The invitation to me was clear as I slid further towards the edge, under her, until the top of my plastic covered erection was touching her pussy from behind. She lowered herself onto me, pressing her crotch into mine and moaning as she ground herself into me. At first I had to scramble quickly to keep my trapped balls from getting crushed. It was a very close call - that nearly ended the night with literally a whimper. But I managed to get the “boys” to safety as she slid herself back and forth on top of me.

I reached around to massage her clit but she immediately slapped my hand playfully. “No, just sit there - I’ll do this,” she said with firmness in her voice. She then went on to give me the most incredible lap dance I could ever imagine. For about ten minutes she wiggled, thrust and gyrated her bottom on my trapped cock, using her fingers to further tantalize me. By the time she was done, my erection was so insistent that it had pulled the restraining ring as far as my stretched scrotum would allow without ripping my own balls off. Looking down at it, there was this intense feeling of pleasure and satisfaction at seeing the beautifully, grotesquely stretched ball sack.

When she was done with the lap dance, she had me lie down on my back and then crawled on top of me, squirming and rubbing herself on top of me, then using her lips and tongue to excite me further, starting with deep french kisses and working her way down to my nipples, belly and inner thighs. At this point, I was jumping out of my skin with every touch of her warm, wet tongue. She smiled and giggled, enjoying her power to make me jump. Then, looking down at my imprisoned cock, she stroked it through the plastic tube, then looked back over at me and said: “I don’t know - the dice roll said tomorrow was your day to cum. I’ve had mine so maybe we should stop now?”

I was about 90% sure she was just teasing me, that she wasn’t serious, but the other 10% of doubt threw more fuel on my body that was already afire. There was a moment of silence as she dangled the key from her neck over my trapped cock and balls. Almost every fiber of my being wanted her to release me - to let me go - so I could explode in rapturous relief. I have to admit, however, that there was this other part of me that would have been deeply satisfied if she kept me locked up - exercised her absolute control over me after this ultimate tease.

But she laughed as she reassured me that she was just kidding, then took the key chain off her neck and quickly unlocked the small, heart-shaped padlocked that was holding the force of my passion at bay. Now this is where the restraints on my wrists would have come in handy. Instead of allowing my wife to take apart the CB-6000s chastity device and thereby get to handle and explore its parts, I was so eager to be set free and on my way to orgasmic release that I immediately took the thing apart myself. It was a lost opportunity of getting my wife “hands on” with the chastity device.

She began to stroke my ramrod hard dick with her hand, using some silicon lube. It felt unbelievably great - that inner pre-orgasmic vibration amped up immediately to just short of inevitability. I told her and she immediately let go. I had asked to be teased and she was going to accommodate me. It took all of my self-control not to grab my dick and finish it. I did some Tantric breathing and PC muscle control to put a brake on it and it worked - well sort of. Despite consciously holding back on contracting my PC muscles (those used to stop urination and whose contraction is necessary to trigger a full orgasm), I felt a throbbing deep within my perineum as my prostate gland began contracting involuntarily and my wife and I watched as a thin, clear, whitish fluid slowly oozed from my dick.

My wife looked at me quizzically, wondering if I’d cum. I told her “no,” it was just pre-cum and that I had a lot more left in me. She smiled and climbed on me, straddling my hips and slowly inserting my rigid rod into her pussy. The velvet soft heat of her tunnel immediately took me back to the edge. Both the moans of pleasure from me and the feeling of my rod spreading and entering her tunnel immediately raised her level of arousal as well. She had already cum twice but she had gotten greedy and wanted more.

All thoughts of another edging, more teasing disappeared as she climbed the heights again, slowly impaling herself on me - me thrusting up to meet her downward strokes. I was getting close again but I wanted to wait for her - I wanted us to cum together. After a few more strokes, I grabbed the wand vibrator where she had left it, next to me, flicked the power switch and place the vibrating head just above my deeply buried shaft, directly on her clit. She jumped and laughed, grabbing the wand from me and applying it to herself. Within a matter of seconds, I saw those telltale rapid fluttering of her lower abdomen muscles which always signaled that she was just about to cum. I let myself go - and with one more deep thrust, my orgasmic trigger was pulled.

I can’t really describe the feeling - it was a mixture of a burning sensation and an explosively expanding ball of pleasure that ripped through my groin. I began thrusting wildly, primitive cries of pure pleasure burst forth from my lips. My hips bucked upward driving my dick into her as deeply as it would go. The vibrator on her clit and my deep thrust triggered her own orgasm and her primitive cries joined mine. She began to wildly gyrate her hips and throw her head and long mane of blonde hair back and forth, whipping it around as I bucked wildly below her. It seemed to go on forever as I emptied my load into her grasping tunnel. Even after she collapsed on top of me, her wet cheek and damp hair pressed tightly against my face, my orgasmic contractions continued, until finally the last spasms died away.

I don’t know how long we lay together like that - two sweaty bodies merged into one collapsed mass, both of us only semi-conscious, but the first thing I felt was her movement on top of me and then my now semi-soft dick sliding out of her pussy. This was followed immediately by the sensation of a warm, syrupy fluid dripping onto my ball sack. There was a lot of syrup.

If you had told me six months ago when my experiment in male chastity play began that my thoroughly vanilla and somewhat prudish wife would give me a lap dance while I was secured in a plastic, locked chastity device, teasing the daylights out of me while flaunting the key, I would have said the chance of that happening was practically nil. But I was persistent and worked to a plan. Basically, I created for her a “new normal.” I slowly expanded that which she considered “normal,” to encompass male chastity devices. Through trial and error, I found the following worked for me:

1. I did not confront her and push the issue when she initially found the whole idea of my chastity bizarre and the chastity device repugnant. I continued to wear it and did not ask her to participate in putting it on me or taking it off. In fact, I did both myself in private away from her eyes. But I did let her know that I had it on each day and told her that while I was doing something nice for her without her asking me to do it. It could be anything from laundry to foot massages, but I made sure that when I told her I had it on she had a good feeling to associate it with.

2. The sex we had was less frequent but each was treated a special event and she had my undivided attention. I did some research and found some new techniques for stimulating her. Even before she began to melt a little and participate in the chastity game, she said her orgasms were the best she’s ever had and was extremely happy with my new found knowledge and techniques. I think it also pleased her that I went to the trouble of teaching myself how to pleasure her better. I also made sure that she always came first; and did my best to get her off a second time if she was up for it.

3 I gave her positive feedback, reinforcing any behavior by her which recognized my wearing of the chastity device (like feeling it through my pants and smiling) and any effort she made to play the game by teasing me. My wife’s greatest pleasure is talking while I am actively listening (no kidding), so I did my best to pay complete attention to her when she was taking. Every woman has something she loves to do. Find it and give it to her. Often it costs nothing more than your time and attention.

4. When talking about the reasons for wanting to do male chastity play, never lie but you need not reveal the whole truth either. In my case, I told her initially that I wanted to try it as a way of providing a real, powerful incentive for me to lose weight by laying off fattening foods and extra helpings. I explained that only the powerful need for sex would be sufficient to offset my appetite for the wrong foods. If I had to “earn” my releases by losing a pound, I had a better chance of following the necessary diet. This was completely true - the need for sexual release was a powerful deterrent to bad eating habits and blowing off workouts - that part was very true. Of course, I didn’t tell her all of the truth - that I had a powerful urge to be sexually submissive and that wearing a chastity device seemed to touch some central pleasurable spot in my psyche. As the weight came off, we discovered together just how amazing the sex was for both of us after my penis was isolated from all touch sensation and I remained chaste for a week or more. She was thrilled and really turned on by her new found power to make me “jump” with the slightest touch of her hand or lips. This great sex also greatly improved the rest of our relationship - we returned to the closeness and emotional intimacy we’d had as newlyweds. She was able to relax more because she finally felt in control about the where, when and how of our sexual relations.


So, is it everything I’ve always fantasized about? No, but we’re getting there, slowly but surely, in small steps. There are limits to where I can shift “normal” with my wife. She will never be a “whips and chains” Domme, but that’s okay, I’m not into the full time D’s thing either - it is strictly a bedroom game, sexual play with me. There are some things that I can accomplish though. I would like to get her comfortable with wearing my key, essentially full time. The idea of being locked up and having the key resting in the cleavage between her soft breasts is an incredible turn on for me. I’d also like to get her to experiment with at least some light bondage on me - maybe just some loops for my wrists. And, I would really like to experience a “ruined orgasm” at her hands.

Ideally, I’d like to get her to experiment with some anal play with me - my prostate is very sensitive and I’m easily aroused with play at my back door but I don’t think that’s in the cards for my very vanilla wife in the near future. Of course, I could never have imagined she’d lap dance over my CB-6000s covered dick, so you can never say never. I’ll have to give that one some thought and careful planning. Meanwhile, I will make sure she experiences the benefits of chastity play and see if I can get her to take the initiative with teasing and denial play.

I will write when there are further developments.

Kelmag

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