Tuesday, January 17, 2012

A New Star Is Born

It has been a momentous month for us. Although we have been slowly and surely moving in the direction I've wanted to go, it seemed like it would always be a slow process of evolution - two steps forward, one step back. Not so. To my surprise and delight, my wife has taken us the rest of the way all in one fell swoop. I'm still a little breathless and excited by the sudden acceleration into the land of the Wife Led Marriage with my wife exercising complete control over my orgasms.

I am something of an astronomy buff, so the imagery that comes to mind is of cosmic gas and dust slowly accumulating, condensing, gaining mass and gravity, and with the increase in gravity the increase in mass accelerates, more mass - more gravity until suddenly there is enough gravitational pressure and heat that nuclear fusion suddenly occurs and boom - what was once just a formless cloud of gas and dust suddenly ignites into a brilliant star, radiating heat and light, dominating its surroundings; surroundings will never be the same again.

Like the birth of a new star, my wife reached "critical WLM mass" and ignited, accelerating us into a fully formed Wife Led Marriage with male chastity playing a central part in establishing and supporting her leading role.

The sequence of events began two days before Thanksgiving (a most aptly named holiday that now carries an entirely different meaning for me). We were leaving the next day for a drive up the coast to a nice hotel on the beach where we would stay while visiting relatives for the holiday dinner. It had been three weeks since my last orgasm which was at the edge (so to speak) of my longest previous chaste period. Moreover, I had been almost continuously in my Queens Keep chastity device during that time, coming out once a week for fifteen minutes or so for a thorough cleaning and then going right back into it.

My wife had already let me know the week before that I would not be coming before our holiday vacation and I was fairly sure she would not change her mind. She loves hotel sex - there is something about hotels that really turns her loose. I also knew that with our child staying with relatives during our visit, we would have the hotel to ourselves for four days. I was bursting with heated anticipation - especially since she had already informed me that she wanted me to leave the device home when we left. I was not to wear it during our vacation. I couldn't believe my good luck. No device, a beachside hotel for four days with my wife who becomes a wanton sex maniac with a little vodka (of which I planned to pack a good supply) and an empty hotel room.

Tuesday evening, the night before we were leaving, was a scheduled drawing night. Every third night we set time aside to draw a marble from a sack - black or white, which determined when I would next be allowed to come. We also used that time together to cuddle, talk and, if I was lucky, to receive some tease and denial. Well, my wife disposed of whatever feint hope I might have had at being allowed to come early by simply declaring at the outset that the drawing was a black marble (she is within her right to just decide on the color without doing a drawing). She giggled though as we cuddled and kissed. Then, the giggling stopped and she told me in a low, husky voice to get out of my shorts and tee shirt.

As I stripped down, she removed her own shorts and top, leaving her bra and panties on. She motioned for me to lay down on my back and slipped a pillow under my hips. She straddled my waist and then slowly leaned down until her lips just brushed mine. I tried to reach her lips by starting to sit up but she pulled back and put her hands on my shoulders pushing me back down. Playfully, I reached up and cupped her bra covered breasts and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"Not tonight honey," she said taking me by the wrists and removing my hands from her.
"Your hands go here," she said, putting them on top of my head.
"If you move them, everything stops. Just lie there and relax. Tonight, I'm giving and you're receiving. Enjoy it."

I was already aroused, straining at the limits the metal Queens Keep was imposing on my shaft. I watched as my wife poured some silicon lube in her palm and began massaging me around the outside of the metal ring surrounding my genitals. Sitting on my knees and upper thighs with her legs bent at a right angle, feet flat on the mattress on either side of my torso, she bent over and slowly massaged me, gently gripping my balls and rolling them around her lube-slicked fingers then drawing her fingers down to my perineum and pressing into the sensitive tissue, feeling for the hardened area of my prostate that she knows will trigger a reaction from me. I jumped when she found it, moaning loudly as the pleasure vibrations expanded outward from my groan.

After three weeks of chastity, I was incredibly sensitive to her touch and she knew it. Her fingers rubbed, prodded and caressed every part of my genitals and surrounding area, inserting her fingertips through the bars of my cage and barely grazing the ultra sensitive head and frenum. Gently, she fingered my balls, taking each one in the fingers of a hand and rolling them around before slowly tightening her grip a bit pulling on them, downward at first and then apart. She watched me closely as she did this. It was the closest thing to CBT she had ever engaged in. I didn't want to discourage her so I focused on her beautiful body and ignored the pain.

By now, I was as engorged and erect as my steel Queens Keep device would permit. The loose skin of my shaft bulged out of every opening in the cage; the engorged head bulged through the front bars. She switched her grip, shifting my well lubed balls to one hand while gripping the bottom of my caged shaft with the other. Slowly she pushed and pulled the shaft, forward and back, left and right, like a driver testing a floor mounted gear shaft. As she did so, she tugged my balls in the opposite direction. Where she learned this trick I had no idea - she had never done anything like it before, but every "shift and tug" sent powerful vibrations of pleasure through me.

At one point, she turned her hand that was gripping my balls, twisting them a bit and then digging the knuckles on the back of her hand into my prostate engorged perineum. That triggered a kind of mini-orgasm or prostate orgasm because I felt a brief but intense explosion of pleasure and contractions deep inside my perineum. My hips involuntarily bucked up almost tossing her off of me. I cried out in pleasure but it was over almost as soon as it began. There was no ejaculation and no spasms of pleasure in my shaft but there was a definite increase of fluid seeping from the tip of my penis. I don't know what it was but I sure want to do that again.

Watching me react to her touch really got her going. She let go of my stuff and slid up my body until she was seated on my upper chest. She reached over behind me to the night stand, grabbed her trusty wand vibrator and clicked it on. She reacted to the first touch of the buzzing head to her wet slit as though an electric shock passed through, stiffening immediately then throwing her head back as a loud "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh" exploded from her throat. She raised herself up on her knees which put her slit right over my face as she pressed the vibrator into it.

I was completely lost in the incredibly erotic, arousing scene. I was so engorged that the steel cage was embedded into the flesh of my dick but I felt no pain (only later did I see the resultant cross-hatch of red lines and bruises on my shaft that preserved the insane level of arousal I was at), only a tightness that my brain interpreted as pleasure. I remember focusing on that wet, dripping slit above me, the lips totally engorged and spread open, the button of her clit coral pink and glistening at the top. The rest of her beautiful body rose up above me, the curving underside of her breasts the only part of her visible at the top, the arch of her back and upward tilt of her head hiding her face.

I was totally in the moment, absorbing every sight, sound, smell and touch. I even got an occasional taste of her as I reached up with the tip of my tongue and found the bottom of her slit when she came into range. I watched the inner lips of her labia quiver and spasm as the vibrator ignited a continuing wave of pleasure in her groin that seemed to have no end. Her thighs shook and quivered uncontrollably as the spasms of orgasmic pleasure shook to the core. Several times her legs gave out and she collapsed back on my chest only to rise up again and continue. I don't know how long this went on - there was no sense of time for me. It was a kind of continuous series of "now" moments.

Eventually, she collapsed with a loud moan, whispering feverishly "I can't take it any more - can't take it anymore." She fell forward on top of me, her dripping pussy pressed into my chin, the rest of her torso draped over me. I felt the wetness of her belly on my face. I licked her and tasted the salt of her perspiration. I could hardly breathe but I didn't want to disturb the moment. I was in a place of peace and satisfaction that I never wanted to leave.

After a while, when our breathing slowed down and we returned to some semblance of reality, she rose up a bit and slid down me until her face was right above mine, then she kissed me passionately, in a way that transcended sexual passion alone. It seemed to somehow encompass our entire relationship - especially the special one we have had in the last year. I kissed her back with equal passion. I was close to tears as the utter sense of happiness and well-being flooded through me.

With a deep sigh of contentment, she rolled off of me and cuddled up beside me. I responded automatically by turning on my side facing away from her - when we spoon now she likes to be the "outer spoon." She slid her arm over my hip and across my belly, hugging me tightly, pulling me into her. Lazily, she grazed my belly with her nails a few times before continuing the light grazing on my inner thigh. She continued this for a few minutes, my body loving the attention and the feel of her curled around me.

"You know hon," she began, " I don't think we need the marble game anymore to decide when it's time for you to cum."

"Yes," I agreed, " you seem to be okay with deciding it yourself - you have been for the last month or so."

"It's fun, I mean really fun getting you all excited and then telling you no. There's a part of me that still feels a little guilty about it," she said, pausing a few moments; "but that part is getting smaller."

I looked over my shoulder and saw that she was smiling, her eyes closed with a relaxed, dreamy look on her face. She continued to graze my inner thighs with her nails, moving closer to my still trapped genitals as she ran her fingernail lightly up and down the crease between my thigh and groin.

"Yes, I know - I can feel that you're okay with it now."

"I still don't understand why you like it - it would drive me crazy, but I guess I don't have to understand it."

"No," I said, continuing her thought, "I guess we'll never understand why certain things are important to each of us. It's enough to know that they are important."

We snuggled together, her fingers drifting to the metal ring around my genitals as I continued:

"Is there anything else you want to change? You have the power, you know, to change anything you want to."

There was a long pause and then in a low, soft voice she said:

"Well, the coupons, you know - the love coupons. I don't seem to need them anymore."
[Note: the "love coupons" are slips of paper I had been giving my wife after every tease and denial session with a pre-printed message saying I was giving her 2 hours of free time to use however and whenever she wanted to use it. Usually, I gave it to her inside a special card with a handwritten message telling her how much she meant to me.]

"No, I guess not. You can take time whenever you want it now. But I still want to give you some sort of gift of appreciation when you do that for me. Most of the time, you don't want me to arouse or tease you while you are teasing me. Is there something else I can do for you?"

[Note: When we adopted and incorporated the Female Lead Relationship into our marriage, I just naturally took over whatever chores she had been doing. It was not something we discussed. I often felt an almost overwhelming need to do things for her, especially when I had been chaste for awhile, so I began doing the chores she had always done. Other than an occasional "thank you," she said nothing more about it one way or the other.]

There was another long pause as her fingers slid over and cupped my balls, then slowly and gently massaged them as her gentle voice continued:

"Well, cash always works," she said with a soft, almost girlish giggle. "I mean you wouldn't be paying me for it but if you want to show your appreciation - not that you have to - but if you do, you can give me cash instead of a coupon."

"Cash huh?" I said surprised and a little bemused.

"It doesn't have to be all the time. Just, you know, when you want to - when you really want to show your appreciation. It will never be expected by me and I'll never say anything if you don't."

"That's a very interesting idea," I said, stalling for time as I tried to gather my thoughts on it.

"It's not too weird is it? It's not paying me for sex or anything like that. It's just something I thought of - if you think it's too weird, just say so."

"No, it's not too weird - not at all. The more I think about it, the better I like it. I think it's a great idea. Let's do it. But, the money won't come from household money or joint money - only from my own spending money or it won't mean anything."

[Note: We have never had money issues. One way we have avoided it is by having most of our money in joint accounts or investments, but reserving some for each of us to use as we wish in which neither of us is accountable to the other for how we spend it. As things evolved, since she works outside the home and has more personal expenses, her individual spending money has been about twice what mine has been. The disparity has never been an issue for me.]

Later that evening, I wrote her note on one of the special note cards I had printed up. On the cover of the folding note card is a picture of the famous Edward Blair Leighton painting, "The Accolade." Pre-printed to the right of the picture, in fancy script, is the message: "To Milady B., In Devoted Service, From Your Husband K. I wrote telling her how much it meant to me that she was fully committed to our new lifestyle and how wonderful it was that she was contributing creative ideas to it. I also slipped in a crisp, new C-note from my stash of unspent personal cash - a token of my appreciation.

That evening, before we went to bed, my wife came over and gave me an excited, passionate hug and kiss. She had found the envelope with the C-note I had left on her night stand. In bed, with the lights out, we talked for a long time. I found out that the money thing was actually a long and tightly held fantasy of hers - the first she had ever shared with me in almost twenty years of marriage.

She had long had the fantasy of a lover leaving packet of cash for her - a kind of high priced call girl fantasy. We talked about exploring that - maybe acting it out with me meeting her at a hotel bar and taking her up to my room. We even came up with some possible names for us, Giselle and Alan. It was enough to make my still trapped member swell in anticipation.

I will stop here and get this blog entry out. It has been two months - far longer than usual between my posts. So much has happened, so much has changed. I will be posting more over the next two weeks. At least one post will describe what happened in the week after that fateful night and another will be devoted to our new agreement, "Our Understanding."

I am as happy as a late middle-aged man can be. The vision I have had for so many years is coming to pass. My wife now often uses the phrase: "Be Careful What You Wish For," after teasing and denying me. Whenever she does, I silently say to myself, "I have been . . . I have been."

I turned over and kissed her deeply, holding her cheek in my hand. Her hand gently holding and caressing my balls, her warm tongue invading my mouth. We completed each other. We were as one.

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