Wife Led and Chaste - A Transforming Experience For Us Both

I can't believe that October is gone along with the first third of November. I don't know why but time seems to be speeding up. Perhaps because each new increment of time comprises a decreasing percentage of my entire life. Not much I can do about it, so on with my next blog entry.


First, a little old business. In my last blog entry, I mentioned a small envelope I used to carry my safety key and described a special stamp I had made up to cover the seal and ensure that the envelope had not been tampered with. Below is a photo of the envelope with the seal. I think the seal is a very effective reinforcement of my wife's control and authority - for her as well as for me. I took the photo before applying the tape covering the edges of both the top and bottom flap to allow a clearer picture of the design. The date of my last orgasm is also written on the envelope edge before the tape is applied. I show her the sealed envelope at least every three days before we do a drawing.

A process of normalization has continued for the last six weeks. The Wife Led Relationship and the accompanying and complementary male chastity lifestyle has increasingly entered the mainstream of our life. Things that required prompting by me in the past now seem to happen quite naturally and, to my delight, often as a surprise to me. My wife has become increasingly comfortable with my taking over more of the household chores. In the past, if I started doing the laundry, my wife would take it over - perceiving it as a hint from me that the laundry was overdue and she was not keeping up with her end of our divided domestic chores. Now, she is quite comfortable letting me do the laundry, often tossing in some additional items as I'm carrying the hampers to the washing machines. Making the beds, changing the bed linens and towels, washing, drying and folding them is now pretty much on my side of the domestic chore ledger. There is now a silent expectation that I will do it each week.

These new domestic chores have joined my other ones which included food shopping, meal planning and preparation, trash collection and removal and of course all manner of home repair and maintenance. The funny thing is, I enjoy doing these things for my wife, for us. I work full time at home so the domestic chores actually provide both a mental and physical break. My wife works part-time, four days a week, for about four hours in the morning. Although her work is not physically difficult, it can be stressful. I get a tremendous feeling of satisfaction from seeing her smile when she comes home and sees the household chores are done; the home neat and clean.

There is no question that chastity has played a large part in developing my powerful feelings of devotion to and desire to serve my wife. The biochemistry of those feelings was explained in detail in my August, 2010, blog entry, "Male Chastity - Pleasure and Devotion, the Science Behind It." Yet knowing and understanding the science behind it does not alter the powerful effect it has had on me. It has changed me as a husband, a lover and a friend. My wife has seen and experienced this change on a day to day basis. That experience of positive change is worth more than all the words of explanation I can provide about the effects of male chastity. The change has rippled through our marriage and, like a wave reflecting off a wall, changed my wife as well. It has transformed us both.

The change in our relationship goes well beyond the division of domestic chores. Our written "Understanding" gives her the power to make final decisions on all matters that affect us when we cannot agree on a course of action. At first, she was very hesitant to use that authority, not really believing it existed, or if it did, that it would cause trouble between us if she exercised that authority. Throughout most of our marriage, the time prior to this "Understanding," our disagreements on issues would go on for months, often flaring into sharp words and raised voices on totally unrelated issues because of the ongoing animosity. This happened because neither of us had the final authority on anything.

Although it has taken both of us a while to adjust to this new authority arrangement, we have and it has made us both very happy. My wife now confidently asserts that final authority whenever our differences on an issue cannot be resolved. It is remarkable, breathtaking really, how quickly disagreements are resolved, and, in hindsight, how unimportant nearly all of these issues are in the grand scheme of things.

A recent example illustrates the point. We moved into a new home several months ago and of course not all of our things from our old house fit in our new house. One item that became an issue was a portable microwave oven. In both our old house and our new house we had a built-in microwave but I bought a portable, stand alone model because I often felt I needed a second oven to keep dishes warm while other dishes were being prepared. I did the cooking so I made that judgment. It wasn't a problem in the old house. It had plenty of counter space so it could be placed out of the way. Well, the kitchen in the new house is arranged differently and there really wasn't a good place to put it. I put it on a counter, but I had to admit it really didn't look good there and it took up a lot of food preparation space.

My wife didn't like it there. She dropped a few subtle hints that maybe we didn't need it, even bringing in a decorator friend of hers to remark that it really was an eyesore. I pretty much ignored the hints convincing myself that, like the old house and old times, as the chief meal preparer, I decided what appliances I needed and where they were placed. This went back and forth for a couple of weeks before my wife finally decided that it was time to stop being subtle. I wasn't taking the hint.

One morning she just came right out and said she didn't want the microwave there and since it couldn't go anywhere else, should be removed and stored in the garage. My first reaction was to get a little huffy - "okay, then you do the cooking." But my wife just smiled, embraced me and then whispered sweetly in my ear "remember our understanding dear." The whisper was accompanied by a gentle massage of my genitals, locked away in my chastity device but always eager for attention. I had told her before that ever I didn't react well to a final decision of hers, she should do exactly that - remind me of our understanding and massage my genitals while doing so.

I'd like to say that I immediately saw the error of my ways and raced to get the offending microwave out of sight. But I didn't. I just smiled back and hugged her. There was no dropping to the floor to kiss her toes or anything like that but in that quiet instant of that hug, we both knew that the final decision had been made. Nothing more needed to be said. When she went out later to run some errands, I removed the microwave and put it in the garage. When she returned, she didn't say anything about it. A couple of hours later I mentioned that the microwave was gone. Of course, she knew it was gone, she was just being tactful not mentioning it. She just gave me a quick hug and a kiss as we often do when passing each other in the house, and a quiet "thanks hon." That was it. The new system worked perfectly.

It sounds like a small thing - and it was. That is precisely the point. It was a small thing. But it was exactly the sort of thing that, in the past, we would have bickered over for weeks or months with no resolution and growing animosity. My male ego would never have permitted that intrusion in my domain and certainly never would have admitted that I might be wrong. Of course, I was wrong. I haven't needed that second microwave once in the several months since I removed it. It does require that I be a little more careful about the timing of meal courses and side dishes but I should have been doing that anyway. Freshly prepared food tastes much better than food kept warm in a microwave.

The microwave was one of a dozen or more things that my wife has exercised her final authority over in the last few months. Moving into a new house meant lots of decisions and, like any two people, even two people who love and respect each other, we don't always agree. In the past, those decision disputes would have generated animosity that would have lasted for months. Since neither of us had final authority, it would have paralyzed our ability to act and our relationship itself. We would have been emotionally estranged from each other. Our relationship would have been damaged - not fatally, but damaged nonetheless. I look back at the past in both astonishment and regret at the cumulative months and years we spent bickering over things that were so much less important than our relationship; than the love and pleasure we could and now do give each other.

Obviously, this system is not for everybody. My wife has the wisdom, judgment and maturity to exercise this authority. And I have the knowledge, the insight, to understand that this gift is really being made to us as a couple. It is bold statement that no decision about things in our relationship is more important than the relationship itself. Our relationship is a treasure to be preserved and protected against all dangers that may damage it. Our time together is limited. We have no time to waste bickering about microwaves, curtains, vacation spots, in-laws or any of the dozens, nay hundreds of things we have bickered over in the past. Not a single issue could hold a candle to the power of the pleasure and satisfaction we have felt in the last year.

I began this blog entry talking about a process of normalization with respect to the Wife Led part of our relationship. Not surprisingly, this process of normalization has also progressed with respect to our form of the male chastity lifestyle. As regular readers of this blog know, we have used a game of chance involving colored marbles to determine generally when I may orgasm (with my wife deciding the specific time, place and method). The drawing of a marble occurs about every third day which we have used as a time to get together for some sexual play. Usually, this would involve some kind of physical tease for me (while still locked up) and, when she wants it, play for her including one or more orgasms (we called those play sessions "Lady's Nights).

Over the last couple of months, my wife has asserted her right to determine the color of the marble without an actual drawing. In other words, she can declare a black or a white before the drawing is held so there is no drawing that night. Up until recently, she has used this power to declare a "white marble,"; i.e. allowing me to orgasm during that play session. In fact, the last three times I have been allowed to orgasm it was following one of those declared white marbles of hers with each of those occurring between ten and twelve days after my last orgasm. Essentially, she is now substituting her will for the game of chance to determine when I orgasm which is exactly what I had hoped for. As she exerts her will in this, the importance of the game recedes. The game has served its purpose, to bridge the gap between her first introduction to the idea of controlling my orgasm, to the time when she confidently exercises that authority.

That she is exercising that authority about every ten to twelve days tells me that this is her true, current, natural cycle of sexual desire. About every ten days she has the need for a what she terms a "complete" sexual experience. For her, this means cumming once or twice herself, aroused first with my fingers and tongue and then finishing herself with a wand vibrator, often with me inside her; and intercourse, my cumming inside her which she finds particularly emotionally satisfying (although she never cums herself during intercourse). This is a huge change from our pre-male chastity days when she could easily go a month or two without the slightest interest in any sort of sexual activity and resented any request or mention of the scarcity by me.

Whereas the drawing held every third day provided a time and excuse for some intimate time and sexual play, the sexual play and teasing is now being done by her spontaneously, without regard to drawing schedule or anything else. Most mornings now she motions for me to get into a "spoon" position (with me on the inside of the spoon) and from there she massages my genitals and teases me, sometimes taking my shorts off to get better access to me. I am convinced that the open, metal chastity device I now use (Mature Metals "Queen's Keep, reviewed in my last blog entry) has greatly encouraged this spontaneous teasing - she really disliked looking at or touching the plastic, fully enclosing CB-6000s. Again, as she has asserted her will, the importance of the game of chance has receded; exactly the desired result.

I mentioned that, until recently, her declaration of the marble color had always been a declaration of white so she could have her desired "complete" sexual experience that night. Well, continued change is in the air. This last drawing, the one done yesterday, which was exactly ten days after my last release, she surprised me by declaring a "black marble." She gave me a wonderful, lengthy tease - doing it for the first time with me out of the device using a numbered, edging routine that I had asked her previously to try. She did not want me to stimulate her and she did not orgasm herself, making no use of the wand I had left within easy reach on the night stand. It took some ice in a baggie to do it, but I was finally able to shrink my raging hard-on and get it back in the cage.

She made no explanation about her choice or why she chose to declare a black marble for the first time. I have to admit that I now have no sense of when I will be allowed to cum or why she didn't follow her recent pattern of declaring a white marble after ten days. Of course the thought crossed my mind that perhaps it had something to do with her calendar. You see, this is the weekend she is flying to Las Vegas to meet her old college roommate (female of course) and attend the birthday bash of a mutual friend. It was a long planned vacation for her and I encouraged her to go. It does kind of make me wonder about that ten day cycle of hers though. Is she planning something else? Something that will scratch that ten day itch? Just the thought of it is startling, frightening and, I must admit, strangely exciting. Of course, I trust my wife. She would never cheat on me. Still . . . it is quite a coincidence that the night of this very important change occurs on the night before she leaves for Vegas and a birthday bash with college friends.

It my last bog entry, I did say I would describe what it was like to make love with the Queen's Keep device on. My first experience with it was giving my wife a "Lady's Night;" an evening of undivided attention to her needs - emotional, spiritual and physical. I spent almost two hours giving my wife a full body massage, plying her with warm oils, massaging her feet and each individual toe while giving her lots of gentle but passionate hugs and kisses, followed by a slow build-up to a body thrashing orgasm that seemed to go on for a long time, several minutes at least (I envy my wife's ability to do this. If I get ten seconds of body thrashing orgasm, I'm in seventh heaven and totally sated). Like the CB, trapped ball device, the Queen's Keep allows some erection and, as a consequence, there is some pulling of the genitals away from the groin, but unlike the CB it is much milder and more controlled. Whether it is the better fit, the smaller tube size or its smaller profile, the Queen's Keep is much more comfortable to wear when aroused than the CB-6000s.

My second experience was after the first of those ten day, declared "white marble," when I believed I was pretty sure I was going to get permission to cum. Of course, I had been teased and denied once before after a white marble selection but it hadn't happed since (I think she just wanted to see what would happen if she did it), so I was pretty confident I was going to get a release. After all, why bother with the declared white marble, unless it was a deviously, deliciously mean tease (something I probably would enjoy - perhaps not at the moment of denial but certainly later), and there was no indication she was in that sort of mood.

We began the play session with me in the device. Our "Understanding" calls for me to stay in the device, even during a white marble session, until told to take it off; and, no release unless given permission at the moment, regardless of what I had been told previously. These rules make an incredibly wicked tease and denial possible - if she has the will to pull it off. I began with a length of the body series of gentle licks and kisses, circling around her more obvious erogenous zones and paying attention to her neck (a real turn-on for her), ears, around outside of her breasts, across her navel, down her inner thighs, to her delightfully sensitive areas behind her knees and the inside of her ankles. I sucked each of her big toes, massaging the sensitive instep of her foot as I worked.

I began my way back up, reaching the inside of her thighs when the phone rang. In my pre-chastity days, I would have been upset if she answered the phone during our love making. But several months ago, during one of our hotel dates, before she got undressed, while sipping some wine and while I was massaging her stockinged legs, she took a phone call from a friend. I continued to massage her feet legs and then worked my way under her skirt while she continued to talk. There was something so hot about her continuing to talk to her friend as I slowly licked up the inside of her thigh. She slouched down in the chair she was sitting on and parted her legs. With this invitation, I continued up her inner thighs and then along the edges of her panties. She must have thought it was hot too because she became very wet as I teased her with my tongue. She could barely control the gasp as I surprised her with a long, slow, swipe of my tongue up her slit through the very moist, translucent material of her panties. It gave a whole new meaning to the term "phone sex."

She must have remembered how hot it was for both us because she answered the call. Again, it was a friend (a different one - it would have been a helluva coincidence if it was the same one) and, like at the hotel, I continued my ministrations with hands, lips and tongue. She had a hard time following the conversation and controlling her breathing as I slowly slipped her sheer, black panties off, sliding them down her legs and then pausing before drawing them over her ankles and free of her feet. She was in bed and lying on her back talking on the phone as I slid between her legs, me on my belly. She drew her legs up, bending them until the soles of her feet were flat on the mattress and then parted her legs, spreading her knees wide in open invitation.

I accepted the invitation and began circling the neatly trimmed triangle of her pubic area before dipping the tip of my tongue in at the bottom of her slit. She couldn't control her gasping intake of breath and couldn't stop her hips from thrusting up to meet my tongue. She couldn't follow the telephone conversation anymore, quickly asking if she could call her back. After she reached over to replace the phone in its cradle, she giggled like a school girl as she grabbed my thick, wavy hair with both hands and held me tightly to her pussy. She was wet and both her outer and inner lips were engorged and parted. My wife rarely gets aroused that quickly. My tongue is usually exhausted before she is aroused enough to approach orgasm. Not this time though.

Unlike my wife, I now arouse quickly. It wasn't always so. When I crossed over into my fifties, it began to take a while and some effort to get the flag pole up. Not now. During this male chastity lifestyle period I've gone back in time to my teenage years when just the fleeting glimpse of a bra strap through a white blouse or the scent of a woman's perfume would trigger an immediate, sometimes embarrassing raging erection. There's nothing embarrassing about that now.

The Queen's Keep device kept me under control. I could only erect so far while in the device. My wife though was well along and wanted me in her. She told me to take it off. Fortunately, it is very easy to get off, even when aroused. A quick tear of my little safety envelope, some turns of the bit in the locking screw and voila - the cage is off, followed quickly by the ring which slips off after a liberal application of silicon lube to my shaft.

Unlike at the start of our male chastity adventure, my wife is now quite comfortable taking control in bed and choreographing our sexual play. Once I had the device off, she directed me to lie on my side "crossing the T." I knew what she wanted - it was one of her favorite positions. It gave her complete control over my entry and thrusting and put her in a comfortable position to get herself off with her magic wand. I slid my legs under her with my body perpendicular to hers. We did form a human "T." She took my cock in her left hand and held it outside of her pussy as she began using the vibrator on its lowest speed along her slit. Holding my cock firmly, my instinctive thrusts went for naught as she just parried the thrust by gripping me tighter and turning me aside.

"Not yet, not yet Tiger," she said, smiling at me with eyes that were mere slits.

She began rubbing the head of my cock between her thumb and the inside of her forefinger, pressing down and squeezing harder in reaction to the zings of pleasure she was feeling from the vibrator. I tried to remain still but my hips had a mind of their own and they thrusted away in answer to instructions to procreate that were a million years old. She easily turned away my thrusts, discouraging me even more by squeezing hard on my sensitive glans. I knew what my job was. It was to provide a hot, stiff cock for her to hold and then be available for her to plunge into herself when the time was right, when she had reached that last step before the pinnacle of orgasm.

As her excitement climbed, she moaned loudly and began rubbing my cock head along her slit, holding it there as she pressed the vibrator against her pussy. Even on the lowest speed, the vibrator was uncomfortable when it came into direct contact with the head of my cock but I endured it. It was what she wanted. It was where she wanted me to be. Again, this overwhelming desire to serve her allowed me to just accept the discomfort of the direct contact of the vibrator on the tip of my cock.

Her moans got louder and she began thrashing about, eyes completely shut, in fact squeezed shut as she entered a world that existed only inside of her own skin. I was just a cock - something for her to rub and hold and plunge in when the time was right. That thought, that image is still so overwhelmingly erotic to me that I am as engorged as I can be in my Queen's Keep as I sit here writing this. The sudden change to a higher pitch in tone of the vibrator told me she was well along, gathering speed before hurtling to the finish. The faster speed of the vibrator pressed against the sensitive head of my engorged cock took me well past discomfort to considerable pain. It was almost more than I could bear. I couldn't keep still - my hips began thrusting on their own, searching for a way to escape the pain. I felt my wife's grip tighten on my cock. She held me tightly just behind the cock head. I wasn't going anywhere - at least not until she was ready.

She began rubbing my cock head up and down her slit, quickly, feverishly as she dug the bulbous head of the wand vibrator against her clit. When she clicked it up to the third speed, the high pitched whine of the device was nearly drowned out by wife's loud moans, pants and grunts. She was thrashing about wildly; knees splayed widely apart; hips thrusting up to press against the vibrator and my shaft. It was when her moans and loud panting became rhythmic that I knew her orgasm was imminent. I knew the plunge was coming; she had done it several times before, after she had taken control of the sexual action, but I was still surprised by the sensation.

A sudden jerk downward of her grasping hand told me she wanted me in her. The jerk was so hard and sudden that I had to quickly adjust the angle of my hips to avoid damage to my rigid shaft. I managed to do it in time. I started to thrust madly, trying to find her opening.

"Let me, let me!" she gasped out, putting a death grip on my shaft to bring me to a sudden halt and the handover of control.

She had no trouble finding her opening. She plunged me into her hard and fast. I went from painful death grip to sudden hot, wet, velvet softness in an instant. No matter how many times she done this (it only started a few months ago when she took full control of our sexual action, but she has done it often since), I have never gotten used to the sudden change in sensation. It is a nearly instantaneous sensation of pleasure bordering on pure bliss. It is a feeling that is second only to orgasm itself for sheer, unadulterated, spine-tingling pleasure. Once in her, I began thrusting hard and fast following my instinctive instructions but even then, my wife did not relinquish control, holding the base of my cock and controlling the speed and depth of penetration.

Once I'm plunged in by her, it is usually just a matter of seconds before she cums. It was no different this time. In less than a minute she cried:
"CUM WITH ME! just as her hips rocketed up off the bed as her body was rocked by the pleasure contractions of orgasm. Four, five, six times she thrust her hips wildly off the bad as her abdominals crunched down hard and her head whipped back and forth.

"I'm still cumming, I'm still cumming," she hissed and then laughed as she continued to thrash about. "Oh God, Oh God! I'm still cumming," she cried as I felt her vaginal walls contract hard on my shaft and then flutter faster than any hand could squeeze and release.

I did not cum with here. I couldn't - I was totally absorbed in watching and feeling her pleasure. I was not inside my own head yet. As her contractions slowed and her body stopped thrashing, I felt the heat rising and expanding in my groin.

I can't come close to describing the sharp, exquisite, paralyzing blast of pure, sheer pleasure that ripped through me as I came in a series of massive thrusts that felt like I was being turned inside out with every nerve ending ignited and sending giant sparks of pleasure throughout my body. My wife started to laugh as I thrust in and gripped her shoulders as I pumped my hot load into her. She couldn't stop laughing, giddy as a school girl, as I finished, utterly collapsing, arms, legs, torso dead - my mind disconnected from the outside world, sparks still firing away as the last shudders of my orgasm shook me.

"I love when you do that," she said, stroking my side gently as I slid into a brief period of oblivion.

I sensed rather than felt her curl up around me.

"I am so lucky," she said. "I'm the luckiest woman alive."

"And I'm the luckiest man," I replied feeling a deep connection to her that I can't describe.

I fell asleep and slept through the night. I don't remember any of my dreams, only that I had them. I woke up with her curled around me, spooning me.