Tuesday, October 23, 2012


I came across a very interesting blog entry about a subject that I must admit that I have given very little thought. The blog is a private blog - open only to invited members. The writer, Lady Margaret, gave me permission to republish her blog entry as long as I didn't provide a link to her blog. She has had problems in the past with a public blog and decided to go private and write for a devoted following of about 260 people. She has been in a Female Led Relationship for twelve years.
I asked her permission to republish the blog because it has changed my thinking about punishment in an FLR and thought it might change others as well. It is certainly not right for everybody but, after reading this article, I have come to the conclusion that it is not a fringe activity either. It can have a place in Female Led Relationships that are not extreme or even into BDSM. Would it be useful in my relationship? Perhaps. In any case, I would be willing to give it a try. The problem is it is very unlikely that my wife would do it. Even light bondage is currently outside of her boundaries (but I'm working on that). But, punishment is something I had not considered before and it was this article that got me thinking about it.
I have added photos to the article - her original had none, because I think photos add a little pizzazz and help illustrate the information in a fun, entertaining way. Punishment In an earlier blog entry on ruining orgasms, I mentioned that I would do a blog entry on punishment. Well this is it. First, what is the purpose of punishment? What is it supposed to accomplish? And second, what is its place in a Female Led Relationship? Why is it so important to do it; and why is it so important to do it right?
Classically, the purpose of punishment is to deter certain behavior. If the recipient believes that punishment will be swift, certain and sufficiently disagreeable, he will avoid the behavior that triggers it. But, there are other purposes to punishment that are a little more subtle. Voluntarily submitting to punishment is one way for the offender to make amends - rebalance the scales of justice. Psychologically, it is a way for the offender to rid himself of the guilt he feels for doing wrong. For the one delivering the punishment, it is a way of balancing out her scales of justice as well. Although punishment should never be delivered in anger, there is no doubt that meting out punishment helps to drain the negative feelings that developed when the offender committed the wrongful act. Finally, punishment provides closure to the incident. There is no need to carry guilt or grudges. The punishment discharges both parties immediately and both offender and offended can move forward from that point with a clean slate.
What is its place in a Female Led Relationship? Its place is to reaffirm the authority of the female that was voluntarily given to her by the male. It is one thing to talk about a shift in authority or write about it in an FLR Agreement. It is quite another to affirm that shift in authority with action - by the male voluntarily submitting to punishment by the female. It is made real and tangible in a way that no theoretical statement can accomplish. It is living the Female Led Relationship.
Why is it so important to do the punishment right? Because doing it wrong offends the sense of justice that both members of the relationship carry in their minds at all times. The punishment must be proportional to the offense, immediate so it is psychologically connected to the offending behavior and, if possible, of a type that ties it to the offending behavior in such a way that it will be remembered as a separate and distinct response to that behavior.
Okay, so far I've written only generalities about punishment. Let's get into the specifics - how I handle punishment in our relationship. There are three types of punishments that I impose and I can and do impose one, two or all three on occasion. The three types are: 1. Loss of an orgasm opportunity 2. Corporal Punishment 3. Punishment Specific to the Offense I will discuss each of these in turn and then summarize how they all work together to strengthen the bonds of our relationship and reaffirm my authority. Loss of Orgasm Opportunity This punishment is applied for one offense and one offense only: having a complete orgasm without my permission. As my hubby gets only four complete orgasms per year it is a serious punishment to lose one of them. First, how it works - if my hubby has a full orgasm without my permission, either with me present (getting tipped over into orgasm from a tease without warning me in time so I can ruin it), or by masturbating during one of the rare times he is out of his device, he loses the next two of the four times he is allowed each year to have a complete, pleasurable orgasm.
The last time this happened was a couple of years ago when he failed to warn me of an impending orgasm while I was teasing him (actually, I was on top with his cock deeply embedded in my pussy and I was grinding away). This happened in February, about five weeks after his last authorized orgasm. So, as punishment, I canceled his April and July orgasms; the next one he got was in early October, seven and a half months later. Although this punishment appears serious, in my view it wasn't enough to punish the offense - that is, to deter him from doing it again in the future. After all, orgasm denial was something he was used to and he would continue to enjoy daily teases and frequent ruined orgasms. So, to remove all temptation for him to cum without permission, I combined this punishment with the two other types of punishments I use: Corporal Punishment and Punishment Specific to the Offense.
Corporal Punishment What is corporal punishment? It is physical punishment delivered to an offender for committing a wrongful act. It is certainly controversial to incorporate corporal punishment in a modern marriage. At first impression, it seems barbaric and harkens back to an age when husbands beat their wives with impunity. It also calls to mind the image of a leather clad, whip wielding dominatrix flaying the skin off her chained husband in the bowels of some dark dungeon. Of course, neither of those things has anything to do with the type of corporal punishment I am talking about. Although generally, the majority of wives in female led marriages do not use corporal punishment on their husbands, it is a common feature in some. It appears to be used by many, if not most, of wives in what I would call "serious" 24/7, female led relationships. What do I mean by "serious" 24/7, female led relationships?" I mean those relationships in which the wife has the authority to make all decisions in the marriage; sets the agenda for what her husband does - including domestic chores and personal services; decides where they go and who they associate with as a couple; and where the wife controls her husband's orgasms - that is, he wears a chastity device and may not orgasm without her permission.
So, how do we get over the idea that corporal punishment is antiquated and barbaric? Head on - by showing that when it is done in a Female Led Relationship, it is very different from the old "husband beats wife variety." First, in an FLR, the corporal punishment is consensual. The husband agrees ahead of time to submit himself to corporal punishment of a particular type and severity. He can stop it at any time just by saying so. This is completely different from the old "husband beats wife" abuse in which she neither consents to the punishment or to its type and severity; and she has no power to stop it. In wife beating, the husband will deliver the blows in anger, often in a rage, and will strike any part of her body with any type of object and usually with great force, causing actual bodily damage. In contrast, corporal punishment, at least as I practice it, is never delivered in anger, let alone rage, and it is strictly limited to his fleshy, well protected butt. The type of objects used to deliver that punishment are also strictly limited to those he has previously seen and approved. There are no surprises in that regard. And unlike "physical abuse," no actual long term or permanent damage is ever done to his body.
But why do it at all? That's easy - because it works. It is very effective in modifying and controlling his behavior. It accomplishes this without doing him any long term harm. And, most importantly, it reaffirms my loving authority and his willing submission to it - the very heart of what our Female Led Relationship is all about. In addition, it can't be denied that at the psychological level, when done in the context of a particular ritual we have developed, it satisfies a deep seeded need for him to experience physical pain when he has done something wrong and my deep seeded need to exercise control over him. Also, I have to admit, it can be very sensual and erotic - great fun for me and, even though you wouldn't think so, for him as well. The sense of bonding and attachment both of us feel towards each other after I administer corporal punishment to him is incredibly powerful and emotionally satisfying for both of us.
The Tools of Punishment Although I've tried many types of instruments of punishment, I've settled on four of them - each with its own purpose. I use two types of paddles - a small, heart shaped wooden one and a larger, heavy leather one; and I use two types of crops: a 30 inch, thin, nylon one, and a 36 inch, thicker but flexible wooden one.
I use the light, heart shaped paddle to inflict punishment that is more ceremonial or ritualistic than painful. I use it when the offense is minor but still warrants recognition of the offense and punishment. It makes an impressive, loud "thwack" when I apply it to his butt and there is some stinging and warming sensation but the sound is much greater than the physical sensation.
I use the larger, heavy leather paddle to apply real physical punishment for an offense against me - disrespect, disobedience or just being argumentative or giving me a hard time. I use it when I want to administer a lot of strokes over a lengthy punishment period and don't want the actual harm that would occur if I used a cane for that many strokes. I want him to spend some time thinking about his misbehavior as I'm punishing him and I want him to be bruised and sore for a couple of days afterward as a reminder.
I use the thin, nylon cane when I want to inflict a sharp, stinging pain of short duration. I use it to achieve immediate correction when I want to keep the punishment period brief because I want him to go right back to the task and do it right. I also use it when I want to expend as little effort as possible in punishing him. The thin, nylon material is very light and flexible and requires only a flick of the wrist to deliver a sharply painful sting. I have used it on occasion, when I am feeling particularly wicked, to guide and correct him when he is providing me with a sexual service - in particular, oral service.
Finally, I use the larger, thicker, wooden, rattan cane to inflict the maximum and longest lasting pain for the most major of offenses. The immediate pain of each stroke is very intense, often buckling his knees with each blow; and the deep bruising of the muscle causes significant pain for several days afterwards. Examples of Offenses and the Corporal Punishment Applied Probably the best way to illustrate just how I use corporal punishment on my hubby is to provide a few examples of actual offenses committed and the punishment I gave him. For each of the offenses described, I also meted out an additional, non-corporal punishment that was specific to that offense. Those specific punishments will be described in the next section. The first example of an offense was the failure to do a household chore - putting away the clean dishes from the dishwasher. This offense is fairly minor when looked at by itself, but I know that the failure to recognize and punish offenses like undone chores leads to laxity about that chore in the future and, when the offense continues to be ignored, spreads to other chores as well. It is better to nip it in the bud right away - punish at the first violation. As the offense itself was minor, the corporal punishment I applied was minor - five slaps of the light, heart-shaped paddle on his butt. Message delivered - message received.
The second example of an offense was one that was more serious. One evening I was on the phone with a male work colleague of mine. Now I am naturally flirtatious and enjoy the back and forth banter I often have with this gentleman. Well, it seems hubby didn't like that I was ignoring him and he didn't like the sexual innuendos and increasingly personal conversation I was having and he let me know about it with scowls of disapproval as he began pacing back and forth near me, eavesdropping on my conversation, and muttering disrespectful comments. I certainly wasn't going to put up with that. I told my colleague I would call him back. I considered both his judgmental attitude and his disrespect towards me as major offenses warranting significant punishment to deter future occurrences. I wanted him to think again about his conduct and his attitude and I wanted him to think about it while he was being punished. I used the heavy, leather paddle on him, administering two dozen blows on the fleshy cheeks of his ass over a half hour period. I also engaged in a little corrective monologue between each blow to make my message to him very clear, to ensure it was being received. He was bruised, physically sore but very apologetic afterwards.
The third and final example of an offense he committed is the one I mentioned earlier in the blog entry - the failure to warn me of his impending orgasm and his completion of the orgasm without regard to the fact that he did not have my permission to cum. I already mentioned that one of the punishments he received was my cancellation of two of his four annual complete orgasms. I also imposed a specific punishment for the offense, on the spot, which I will describe later. In addition to those two punishments, I meted out fairly severe corporal punishment.
I gave him five strokes with the heavy, rattan cane every day for seven consecutive days. Why seven days? The one week period reflected the time it would take for him to reacquire the obedient, devoted state of mind that I demand of him and which is lost for up to a week after he has a full orgasm. Orgasm control - my control of his orgasm lies at the very heart of my authority over him. It makes our Female Led Relationship work. I wanted to punish him for each one of the days that I expected would be lost to me.
Why only five strokes? It wasn't kindness or mercy that limited the strokes to five each day, it was practicality. Each stroke of the heavy cane is very painful and causes thin, deep bruises and surface welts where it strikes. I wanted the bruises and welts of each individual stroke to be felt for several days. If I delivered more than five strokes per day, I would not be able to find fresh, unmarked areas of his butt cheeks to strike each day. At the end of the seven days, his butt was a mass of various shades of purple bruises and red welts. My message to him was very important. I wanted to deliver it for seven days to make sure he got it. My message was definitely received. Since then, he has never failed to warn me of an impending orgasm in sufficient time for me to ruin it. Our Corporal Punishment Ritual The manner in which corporal punishment is delivered is very important. To ensure the message that is delivered is consistent, the way it is delivered must be consistent and symbolically meaningful. It must reaffirm my loving authority by providing him with a way to immediately demonstrate his regret and his submission to my authority. The ritual aspect of corporal punishment gives us the ability to rapidly reacquire our proper roles when they have been momentarily lost. It is designed to be a symbolic ideal of our dominant/submissive relationship. It should be tailored to fit each individual couple. Ours fits us perfectly. The punishment ritual begins when I signal to him that he has committed an offense and that he is going to be punished. I simply tell him "Get upstairs . . . Now." Or, if he is already upstairs, "Go assume the position." When he hears those words, he is required to instantly stop whatever he is doing or saying, go to our bedroom, put a blindfold on, stand next to and facing the side of the bed, feet shoulder width apart, bent over at the waist with his forearms and forehead on the bed. It sure is a great way to immediately end an argument!
I will generally let him wait for me in that position for several minutes. It gives him time to think about and dread the coming punishment and me time to cool down if I'm pissed at him and calmly decide on just how I want to punish him. While I'm doing that, I will go into the hall closet and retrieve a pair of high-heeled shoes I keep there just for these occasions. We have hard wood floors and I want him to hear the click-click-click of my approach. It builds the tension and shifts both of us into our respective punishment roles. Once in the bedroom, I waste no time. Without saying anything, I come up behind him, slip my arms around his waist and quickly undo his belt, waist button and fly. Then I roughly pull his pants and underwear down all at once in one swift motion, leaving them in a heap, wrapped around his ankles. At this point, hubby is often shaking, his legs quivering. I run the palm of my hand lightly over his rump as though I am clearing a place for the blows he knows will be coming soon. I ask him if he knows why he is being punished. He almost always does. Even if he doesn't, he takes a stab at it. Once I'm sure he knows, I pat his ass once and tell him "yes, that is correct." I turn away from him and take the several steps needed to reach my dresser. From personal experience, I know just how acute one's hearing becomes when blindfolded. I know he can hear the click of my heels on the wood floor, the scrape of the top drawer being pulled out and the rattle of my rummaging through the several instruments of punishment I keep there. I return with my chosen instrument and begin his punishment, providing verbal correction between each stroke. I never tell him how many strokes he's getting or what instrument I'm using. Although by now, I'm sure he can tell what it is after the first stroke. After I've given him the last of my intended strokes, I put the instrument back in the dresser and return to him. I will run my fingers lightly over his now inflamed ass cheeks and tell him the punishment is done. If I have broken skin, I will put some ointment on the area. He will rise up from the bed, remove his blindfold and hug me, often with tears in his eyes, and apologize to me again. Then I will sit on the side of the bed where he was just punished and he will kneel in front of me, his trousers and underwear still wrapped around his ankles.
What happens next is a very important part of the punishment ritual. In this part, he affirms his submission to me in a positive way, and is given a way to show me his complete and continuing devotion to me. He begins by bending low while he kneels and kisses both of my feet. Unless I stop him, he will continue to kiss and gently lick the insides of my ankles, then work his way up my legs to my thighs. Generally, I will stop him there. I will comb my fingers through his hair. Then, I will then tell him that he is forgiven.
Every once in a while, when I am really horny(sometimes delivering the corporal punishment will really turn me on), I will let him continue up the insides of my thighs to my pussy. He will service me until I cum, usually with my legs draped over his shoulders, heels digging into his back and hands wrapped around the back of his neck. It is always a wonderful, powerfully intense orgasm after a corporal punishment ritual. When the last of my orgasmic shivers subside, I will comb my fingers through his hair and tell him he is forgiven. It is an exquisite moment of re-bonding and re-commitment to each other. Even though he may have a very sore bottom, he is always very happier and very emotional in his demonstration of devotion. He knows he is back in my good graces.
Punishment Specific to the Offense This is the third possible type of punishment for an offense. Its purpose is to get him to connect a particular punishment to a particular offense. I want him to know that in addition to any physical punishment, he will have to go back and re-do or otherwise make up for the wrongful act. I do not want him thinking that he can just exchange acceptance of corporal punishment for not doing something he is supposed to do. So, in the three examples of misbehavior already discussed: Failure to do a domestic chore - putting away clean dishes: I awarded him the punishment of doing the dishes by hand for the next three days. That is, he had to wash, dry and put away the dishes from every meal by hand. I figured it would make him appreciate the convenience of the dishwasher and understand that using it, including putting the dishes away, was a far better option than doing them by hand. It must have worked because he hasn't forgotten to put them away since. Disrespect to me and eavesdropping on my telephone call: The corporal punishment I gave him for this, a half hour of whacks with the heavy paddle, was substantial. It was something I thought he would remember. So, I had a lot of leeway with what I could do about the specific punishment. Since it involved a telephone call and disrespect, I thought the punishment had to involve me talking on the telephone and he making up for the disrespect with an act of devotion.
I had him bring over the foot stool and the pedicure kit and kneel on the hard wood floor in front of the easy chair in our bedroom. I seated myself in the chair and called my colleague back, resuming our conversation where we left off. As we talked, my hubby gave me a pedicure, a job for which I have trained him well over the years. I'm sure that with his well tanned backside and the wood floor digging into his knees, he was in more than a little discomfort but he persevered and did an excellent job. In the meantime, I was deliberately extra flirtatious. I wanted him to fully understand that how I talked with other men was none of his business.
Cumming without permission and without warning: The specific punishment I awarded him for this was a spur of the moment thing. It wasn't something I had planned ahead of time but I have to say, even at the risk of being immodest (who me?), it was inspired.
As you may recall, he had cum while he was inside of me as I rode him on top. I was shocked and surprised at the act of disobedience. He knew better than that and, I knew it was no accident. I might have pushed him over the edge, but I was certain that from many years of edging experience, he clearly knew what was happening and simply chose to complete his orgasm without telling me in time to stop it. One look at his expression confirmed that. There was a smirk, not a look of surprised horror on his face.
I pulled him out of my pussy and put my fingers over my vagina to keep his spunk from pouring out of me and onto the clean sheets. Without missing a beat, I slid up along his torso until my shins were on his shoulders, pinning him to the mattress. I looked down at him and he back up at me. Slowly, in that coldly calm voice I use when he is in trouble, I said: "Okay, you made the mess - you clean it up."
As I spoke, I shifted my hips forward until my pussy was directly over his face, then leaned forward as I removed my fingers from my sopping wet hole. Resting one hand on the headboard, I used my other to pull down on his jaw, hooking my sperm slicked thumb into his mouth to open it. The smirk disappeared, replaced by the look of horror I wanted. I watched as a month and half of his thick, white cream slid from my hole to his mouth, covering his lips and tongue and running down the corners of his mouth. "Swallow it - swallow all of it," I said calmly. "I don't want a single drop on my clean sheets."
I guess his obedience training took over because even with the look of horror, he swallowed it and used his tongue to lick up the overflow on his lips. I helped collect some of the rivulets running down his jaw and neck and offered my cum soaked fingers for cleaning. When he swallowed everything that had poured into his mouth and onto his lips, I lowered myself down until my pussy lips were on his mouth and issued my final command: "Clean me."
And he did - with lips and tongue he consumed every drop of his cum and my juices. It was hot, very hot - and I came in a rush, moaning, gyrating and collapsing over his face.
And so, it is now a given. Any sperm that he releases without permission, he must consume. Since then, he has never had a complete orgasm without permission again. I receive plenty of warning now to ruin it, and I do. But, since the ruined orgasm is also sperm released without permission, he must consume that too. Now we both know that I will often drive him to an orgasm and ruin it just to drain his prostate for health reasons, but I never tell him when I am doing that so as far as he is concerned, it is releasing sperm without permission.
Conclusion There are two key elements to having a successful Female Led Relationship where the FLR is a serious, 24/7, total power exchange. Those elements are female control of the male orgasm and female punishment of the male to guide and control behavior. Control of the male orgasm is the long term method for keeping the male compliant, obedient and devoted. Punishment, particularly corporal punishment, is the method of choice for immediately correcting misbehavior for those occasional times when the male's conduct wanders off the desired path. Corporal punishment, when done right, acts as a deterrent for future misconduct and as a reinforcement of the female's authority.
It is important to remember that a Female Led Relationship is consensual between the parties, as are the key controlling elements: orgasm control and corporal punishment of the male. Done successfully, corporal punishment restores the order of the relationship - the order desired by both parties. It is the responsibility of the female leader to educate herself about the various instruments and methods of corporal punishment before using them to avoid unintended long term or permanent harm to her mate. Corporal punishment should also be delivered in the context of a ritual that reinforces the female's authority and provides an opportunity for the male to show his regret and obtain forgiveness.
---------------------------------------------------- I would be interested in your comments. What do you think about the article in particular and how do you feel generally about incorporating punishment into a Female Led Relationship? kelmag

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


It has been a while since my last post but, hey, I've been busy. One of the few drawbacks of living in a beautiful resort city is there is seems to be an unending stream of guests that visit and stay over for days, sometimes many days. The latest guests were an old childhood friend of my wife's, her husband and two kids. They stayed for eight days. Eight days. Eight Days! Of course, they wanted to see every sight and, since the husband went on every sightseeing trip, my wife thought it would be unseemly if I didn't. I am in a Wife Led Marriage so no more needed to be said. I went everywhere with them.

Finally, Sunday arrived, and after a long day of walking around the zoo, we dropped them off at the airport, stopped for a bite to eat and made it home. Both of us were exhausted but I did hold out some hope of some intimate play. All week my wife had mentioned how good I was being and how she would make it up to me - usually with a sly grin to emphasize the point. It had been fourteen days since my last release; generally I went ten to fifteen days between orgasms. There was no rule or anything about it but my wife seemed to need the feel of me cumming inside of her about that often. I also had not been out of my chastity device during that whole two week period which was unusual - generally she took me out to play and tease once or twice a week. With guests in the house though, there was no chance of that - my wife never played when we had guests staying over.

We arrived home and my hopes rose when she said:

"Fix me a drink honey - I'm beat. My feet are killing me."

Asking me to fix her a drink was always a good sign that she wanted to play but I thought she was probably too tired to do anything but cuddle tonight. So, off I went into the kitchen and fixed her a vodka and lemonade cooler. She was seated on the couch, had taken her sandals off and had her feet propped up on the coffee table when I served her the drink. She thanked me for it, took a long sip and turned on the TV, settling back into the couch to relax.

I've learned to do many things without being asked over these many months since we adopted the Wife Led Marriage and it always pleases my wife greatly for a personal service to just happen, without her having to ask. I went upstairs and picked up a few towels, a basin and a bottle of scented skin lotion. Returning downstairs, I filled a large pitcher with warm water and returned to the den with everything. My wife looked up at me and gave me a marvelous smile. I love to see that smile!

Seating myself on the floor near her feet, my back to her, I moved the coffee table away and placed her legs over my shoulders, the back of her knees nestled on my collarbone. Her feet rested on my lap which I had covered with a soft bath towel. Gently, I put the empty basin under her feet and then slowly poured the water from the pitcher over her feet, into the basin. She gave a long sigh of relief, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh," as the warm water splashed over her sore tootsies, filling the basin up to her lower ankles. With a washcloth, I began gently rubbing the soles of her feet, then the tops and ankles and finally each toe, individually. I could tell she was enjoying it from the sighs of pleasure she would emit and the curling of her toes.

When her feet were completely clean, I took them out of the basin and rested them on the towel in my lap. With another towel, I gently dried them. The TV was on and I heard her laugh as she watched a re-run of Friends and I laughed along with her as I began squeezing a generous amount of lotion into my hand. I rubbed the palms of my hands together to lubricate both of them well and then began massaging her feet, beginning at the soles with long, slow circles with my thumbs.

She lowered the sound on the TV so she could focus more on the wonderful feeling of pleasure she was getting from the foot massage. As I worked on one foot, I could feel her other foot playfully digging into my crotch. Finding my steel covered cock, she dug her foot in and twisted it slowly, back and forth, as though she was extinguishing a cigarette. Good God, that felt good after two weeks of practically no play. When I finished with one foot and began working on the other, she began running her fingers through my hair and rubbing the back of my neck. It was a deeply intimate moment of connection for both of us. In addition to pure lust, I felt a powerful sense of devotion to my wife that was very separate from the lust.

I heard the slurp of air mixed with the last of the drink going through the straw and smiled. With three ounces of Vodka in that drink, I knew she would be very relaxed and very playful. Even after all of these years together, she still needs some alcohol to loosen her inhibitions enough to let free the inner vamp she has always had inside of her.

She bent over at the waist and hugged me, her hands holding my face and turning it as she kissed me. We exchanged tongues as we kissed passionately. As we kissed, she used her feet to find my swollen, chastity device constrained genitals and massaged.

"Let's take a shower together," she whispered and then licked my ear.

She unwrapped herself from me and turned off the television. I helped her up and we held hands as we climbed the staircase to our bedroom. We barely got into the bedroom when her hands went immediately to my belt, undid it, opened the waist button and yanked my fly down. In a flash, she had both hands down the inside of my underwear, one in front cupping my balls from underneath, the other massaging the cheeks of my ass.

My heart was pounding as my desire rocketed up at her touch. My hands roamed all over her soft, slim body as our lips pressed together and our tongues danced in a fluttering circle. We were like teenagers. Is it possible that we have been married for twenty years and made love countless times together. It still felt all new - all unexplored.

We made it to the shower and soaped each other up in the cascading, hot water, our mouths rarely leaving each other. With her back to me, my lips explored her ear as I soaped up her belly and breasts, allowing my hand to snake down between her legs and massage her with a sudsy hand. She ground her ass into my steel covered crotch and leaned back against me, pinning me to the wall. She rinsed herself and then took the handheld shower head from its cradle and rinsed me off, turning the dial to high power spray and directing it inside the bars of my device. The pulsing hot water felt so good. She turned off the water and then hugged me tightly, the back of her head nestled into the crook of my neck and chest. It felt like every nerve-ending I had was abuzz and pulsing with excitement.

"Get the bed ready," she whispered as she went into her walk-in closet and closed the sliding, mirrored door.

I went about the tasks, putting on one of our special love-making sheets on the bed and placing the silicon lube and toys she liked within easy reach on the night stand. I put some soft music on, an Enya mix, from my Iphone, blue-toothed to the sound system in our bedroom. I lay down on the soft, cool sheets and waited for her. The wait wasn't long and it was well worth it.

She emerged from the closet wearing an open-breasted, black teddy, black thigh-high stockings and the special black panties I had bought her - the ones with large, white print that says "I Have the Pussy, So I Make the Rules." It was so perfect - so perfect. I just drank in the vision as she approached, then she climbed onto the bed, crawling over until she was straddling me, then leaning over and kissing me, long and hard, with an urgency that she rarely displayed. She whispered in my ear:

"I want you." She opened up her closed hand to reveal the key to my device - actually a tiny, custom made screwdriver to undo the locking screw of my Watchful Mistress.

She rose up, then slid down my torso to my thighs and reseated herself. With hands quivering a little from excitement, she found the locking screw, inserted the key and unscrewed it, handing me the screw and the key as she slowly removed the steel-barred tube covering my dick. It was like she was performing a magic trick, uncovering the rabbit from under the hat - Voila - there it is! It immediately rose, already engorged with blood and now free to expand. I quickly removed the ring before it got trapped in place by my swelling cock.

She had this incredible grin and she giggled as she gripped the shaft tightly, causing the head to bulge. Slowly, she lowered herself and extended her tongue but held it just above the head of my dick. I thrust up to reach it but she pulled away.

"Uh, Uh-uhhhh, stay still or the tube goes back on."

I froze, as still as I could be as she again slowly approached the head of my dick with the tip of her tongue then stopped less than an inch from it. She held it there and then looked up at me to see the effect she was having on me. Obviously, the look on my face tickled her since she giggled again before she lowered her tongue until the tip of it just grazed the small slit of my cock's urethral opening. I moaned loudly and she pulled back for a moment before continuing down, opening her mouth wide to engulf my dick head, the tip of her tongue just touching the tip of it. She stopped and didn't close her mouth around it, just holding it there, surrounding it but just barely touching it.

I was going out of my mind. At that moment, I would have done anything, ANYTHING, to feel her lips close around me and take me into that warm, wet cavern. But, it was not to be, at least not yet. She pulled up until her mouth was above it again and then just flicked her tongue, catching the underside of my head before she rose back up and slid back up my torso.

"If you want more, you will have to earn it," she said smiling but the tone of her voice indicated she was completely serious.

She slid further up my torso until she was at the very top of my chest, her black panty covered crotch covering my field of vision, the white lettering so close to my eyes that I couldn't actually read them, but I knew what it said: "I Have the Pussy, So I Make the Rules." I knew what it said and I understood it. In fact, my understanding of it deepened every day and especially on days like this when we played.

Her sweet, musty scent filled my nostrils and I took it all in, breathing as deeply as I could with her bottom resting on my upper chest. That scent is so connected in my mind with intensely pleasurable experiences that I feel that pleasure, that zing or buzz or whatever you call it, just from the scent. My mind and body are wired to respond it.

She pressed her panty covered crotch against my mouth and rubbed against my nose and lips. My lips parted and I pressed my tongue against the hot, soft panty material and that wonderful taste was added to the scent. My tongue found the furrow of her pussy lips and dug in, pressing forward and upward along the soft groove. She moaned in response and tightened her legs against the side of my chest. My hands reached around and caressed her smooth, nylon covered calves, finding the soles of her feet and rubbing them before returning the curves of her legs.

Slowly, she began grinding her pussy against my mouth and then humping it with short, sharp thrusts of her hips. Each thrust elicited a loud moan: "Ahhhhh, ahhhhhh." This continued for several minutes, my tongue finding the rhythm and thrusting back against the top of her panty covered slit. She was rocking back and forth, slowly picking up speed and intensity, steadying herself with one hand on the headboard as her other hand slipped down inside the panty waistband and played with herself.

She wanted my tongue inside her, I knew she did from the way she was thrusting but, of course, that was impossible with the panty covering her entrance. She solved the problem on her own, suddenly rising up until she was half standing, straddling my torso, still using one hand to steady herself on the headboard. With her other hand, she gripped the waistband of her panties and yanked them down, raising one foot to slip through the leg hole of the panty and then the other and then flinging it away, before plopping back down on my chest and resuming her humping, this time with her pussy opening unobstructed.

Immediately, I thrust my tongue into her as far as it would go, tasting the hot, slick wetness of her juices. She slipped one hand behind my head and pulled me hard against her crotch, my tongue extending as far into her as I could before withdrawing and then thrusting it in again. She moaned loudly, continuously as she humped my tongue, grinding her hard bud against my upper lip.

I felt her weight shift to the right and then return. I should have known what she was doing but I was so focused on keeping the rhythm of her thrusts with my tongue. I was thus startled by the sudden, loud Buzzzzzzzzzz of her wand vibrator, the one she had leaned over and picked up from the nightstand where I had put it. She held it up and then put it behind her back, looking over her shoulder to find her target. I felt the jolt of the vibrator head under my balls and jerked up, nearly levitating completely off the mattress. My wife is now full of surprises and that was sure one of them. She laughed loudly at my response, digging the vibrator head harder into that sensitive patch between the base of my cock and my anus.

She slid back down my torso until she was straddling my hips, keeping the vibrator pressed against me. She rose up a bit and then back down, carefully positioning herself, using her free hand to guide the incredibly hard shaft of my cock so it was nestled lengthwise along the groove of her pussy slit. Then she slowly rocked her hips back and forth, rubbing herself on me. She used her fingers to press the head of my dick against the swollen bud of her clit and moaned every time it made contact. Back and forth, back and forth she slowly rocked, eyes closed and face turned up as she disappeared into that blissful, pre-orgasmic place she goes to.

After what seemed like several minutes, she brought the wand vibrator back around and pressed it against the top of her mound and continued to rock back and forth, sliding my cock between her pussy lips. I was also lost in the enveloping pleasure until she dropped the vibrator head a little too far down where it met the very sensitive head of my dick. The pain jolted me out of the blissful place I had been and I jerked back, away from what felt like a swarm of angry bees attacking the swollen head of my cock.

She continued to rock back and forth, sliding me along her slit. The first time the vibrator hit my dick head was an accident. I wasn't so sure the second time. By the third time, it dawned on me that my wife was enjoying the reaction she was getting from me when she did that. And so she continued to rock back and forth for several more minutes, occasionally "grazing" my dick head with the powerful vibrator - now up to its second of four speeds. One good thing about the sudden interruptions of my pleasure is it backed me down from the orgasmic climb.

My wife was jerking in spasms as she rocked along my shaft. From experience, I knew she was having small, multiple orgasms that she could continue almost indefinitely, at least until exhaustion. She's told me that sometimes she reaches an orgasmic plateau in which she feels continuous waves of orgasmic pleasure but without the final, orgasmic spasms of a full release. This was one of those times.

Then, after several minutes, she suddenly stopped rocking, rose up and, while kneeling astride my thighs, turned around. Facing away from me, she rose up again, slipped her hand around my shaft and guided it to her hole.

Then, slowly, she eased down until I was buried balls deep in her. She uttered a loud sigh of pleasure as I hit bottom. She held me there and pressed down hard. I could feel the head of my cock against her cervix as she ground herself down on me. She rose up, sliding me out about halfway, before dropping back down again, pressing the vibrator head against her clit as she did so. She repeated this a half dozen times or so, each time letting out a high pitched mewl of pleasure.

Then, after burying me inside her as deep as she could, she began grinding away, making small circles with her hips and tilting them so the top of her tunnel was pressed down hard on my impaling shaft. She was crying "Oh god, Oh God, OH GOD!!" as the waves of pleasure went through her. But she hadn't reached the grand finale - and again, from experience, I knew that sometimes the vibrator numbed her out and she couldn't reach that finale. I so wanted her to finish.

I did something that I had tried a couple of times before with great success in getting her over the top. I reached over to the night stand, found the silicon lube and poured a generous amount in my palm. Rubbing my hands together, I spread the lube around. Then I gripped her ass cheeks firmly and began massaging them before sliding my thumbs down between her ass cheeks and slowly spreading them. She jumped in reaction, a loud moan of pleasure confirming I was headed in the right direction. Rhythmically, I spread and closed her ass cheeks apart, each time moving my thumbs closer to her anus. Finally, as my thumbs found the tight, wrinkled sphincter of her anus, I began slowly rubbing them back and forth across it, using the tips of my thumbs to slowly open her up.

It didn't take long. As soon as I inserted the tips of my thumbs she leaped of my thighs and crunched down in a sudden jerk, then flew back up, face tilted up as she cried, "I'm cumming, I'M CUMMING!" She jerked spasmodically in every direction, my dick still imbedded in her. It must have lasted fifteen or twenty seconds and towards the end, she began to laugh - a kind of cackle of amazement at the intensity of the pleasure she felt. Finally, she collapsed backwards with a huge exhale as my still rigid cock slipped out of her and bounced in the cool air.

She was completely wet, slick from a combination of sweat and silicon lube. My arms went around her hugging her close to me, my hands gently cupping her breasts. Her long, damp hair covered my face as her chest heaved up and down as she tried to catch her breath. I felt her body relax completely and her breathing slowly. She turned on her side and found a comfortable niche under my chin as she slipped into a post-orgasmic state of total relaxation and near loss of consciousness. I loved the feel of her curled up on me - the heat, slickness, her scent, the quiet sound of her breath escaping her lips. Although I hadn't cum, I slipped into a relaxed state as well. My heart beat slowed along with hers.

We lay together like that for some time, perhaps ten minutes or so before she started to stir. I felt her turn back over and then sit up, her legs curled around my hips. She reached over and tapped my dick which was now only semi-erect. I felt her gently grip the shaft and slowly pump it up and down a few times. I was coming out of my relaxed state and felt her hand on my shaft. I also felt myself stiffen as I remembered her wild ride on me.

"Oh my," she said, "It's still alive."

"Yes, . . . yes it is," I replied.

"Do you have enough energy left to get on top? I can barely move."

"Of course Hon. I'd love to," I quickly responded, seizing my chance.

She rolled off me and lay flat on her back, arms and legs splayed out in a posture of exhaustion. I took a pillow and slipped it under her hips. I knelt between her thighs and lifted her legs until they were bent and her feet were flat on the mattress. I inched forward on my knees until I made contact, cock against a very wet pussy. She reached over and gripped the shaft just behind the head with a thumb and two fingers. She placed it on her slit and rubbed it up and down, pausing at her clit to massage around it in small circles. She then placed it at the opening of her vagina and introduced just the head into her hot, wet tunnel.

I started to thrust in but I felt her fingers tighten on the shaft, allowing just the head to enter her. I looked up at her and she had her eyes closed but she was smiling. I eased back but she gripped me again, not letting me withdraw the head of my cock from her hole. I tried again to enter her but her fingers tightened, keeping me only partially in.

"My you are anxious, aren't you?"

"Yes Hon, I guess I am."

"Well, you've waited this long. You can wait just a little longer, can't you?"

"Of course, of course," I whispered in reply, actually not sure how much longer I could go.

She reached over and picked up the wand vibrator. Clicking it on, she placed the head at the top of her slit, still holding me partially in with her other hand. The vibrator was harsh as it touched the top of shaft, just behind the head but the vibrations I felt through the walls of her vagina felt good - very good. She pulled her knees up, angling her vagina up. I moved forward to keep what little I had penetrating her within her. She put her legs around my back and crossed her ankles, hugging me close to her. Keeping her grip on my shaft, she kept me from thrusting but began humping upward.

Finally, she let go of my shaft and humping upward, swallowed all of me as I shifted forward and thrust down to meet her. It felt so good, so incredibly good to feel her hot, wetness surrounding and gripping my shaft. I withdrew and thrust downward again, this time burying myself in her in one quick stab. She met my thrust with her own upward thrust of her hips and I felt her legs tighten their grip across my back and pull me towards her.

After several more deep thrusts, each causing a ripple of pleasure to spread from my groin to my spine and then outward down each appendage. I felt the heat, the flush that occurs just before orgasm.

"May I, . . . may I cum?" I whispered, not sure whether I had spoiled it all by asking.

She clicked off the vibrator and paused a moment before answering:

"Yes, yes my darling, you may cum . . ."

My heart seemed to skip a beat at the sweet words of permission. The sweetest I had ever heard . . .

". . . Thursday."

I didn't really comprehend it - "Thursday," "Thursday what," I said, not connecting the beginning of her sentence with the end.

"You may cum on Thursday," she said smiling sweetly. "I've booked us a hotel at the beach."

"You mean, you mean . . .," I stammered.

"This is what you want, isn't it dear. You wanted to be teased - taken to the edge, didn't you?"

"Yes honey, I did," I mumbled, not sounding very convincing.

"Good, now stay in me if you can and don't move," she said as clicked on the vibrator again and pressed it against her clit.

I remained still, frozen really, which wasn't that difficult because I was stunned by the combination of adrenaline overload and utter surprise. It took all the mental discipline and control I could muster to remain still - to not thrust as she continued to thrust up and down on my shaft, the vibrator now up to maximum speed.

She came hard, her legs in a scissor lock behind my back puling me hard into her as she squirmed, jerked and panted out the final waves of pleasure from her orgasm. As much as i love to watch my wife cum and feel a deep sense of satisfaction of having giving her that gift, I had to admit, I was still too stunned to fully appreciate this last one. When she was done, I withdrew my now only semi-erect cock and rolled over beside her. My heart was still racing from a nervous system that had been in overdrive suddenly braked to a halt. But my wife was barely breathing hard. She was totally relaxed and curled up next to me.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, concern in the tone of her question.

"I'm fine hon," I lied, not wishing to spoil everything by telling her how hard that was on me. Male Chastity - tease and denial is what I wanted. She had to be comfortable doing this to me - she had to believe that it didn't hurt me at all or she wouldn't participate.

"I'm just fine hon. You were fantastic. You're the best," I said convincingly.

I knew that in the moment of intense arousal, I didn't want to be denied. I wanted to cum - every fiber of my body wanted to cum. A million years of biological programming was driving me to cum. But I also knew that as soon as that moment of intense arousal passed, I would be very happy that I was denied. It would mean I would continue to enjoy the best, most intense, closest, most intimate and most loving relationship I have ever had with my wife.

I had been intensely aroused and denied before. It was just that this time took me well past any level of arousal I had ever experienced. Thinking about this later, I realized that the levels of arousal I was experiencing seemed to be increasing over time. Our play sessions were not always this intense but when we had intense play sessions, they seemed much more intense than those of a year or two ago. It occurred to me that this was occurring because my level of control seems to have changed. Probably a year or so ago, in the same situation, I would have been struggling to hold back on cumming. It would have taken some mental gymnastics and some careful mental balancing to keep from cumming while still remaining hard for her. After so many rounds of different types of tease and denial though, I seem to have acquired the ability to maintain positive control of my orgasm. What I mean by positive control is I no longer have to fight against an inevitable progression towards orgasm. I can now simply not orgasm until I mentally slide the last piece in place for release.

This is not something I consciously tried to achieve. In fact, I didn't really know that this level of control existed. It just sort of developed on its own. There isn't an easy way to explain this type of control except by an analogy to the gear shift of a car. If one imagines that the arousal towards orgasm is like the pressing of a gas pedal (the pedal being pushed by one's mate), the previous way I responded was like an automatic shift - the gears shifting higher on their own with more gas until the maximum speed (in the metaphor, orgasm) is reached. Now, with positive control, it is more like a manual shift. The gas pedal can be pushed to the maximum, but I control the shifting of the gears. Maximum speed is not reached until I voluntarily make the final shift to high gear.

Now I'm sure any number of books have been written about Tantric techniques to control orgasm. These typically involve breathing, muscle tension and specifically, PC muscle control. Maybe I am in fact doing this but my body is handling the details on its own. But for me, it simply involves a conscious, deliberate thought to allow myself to release. It will be interesting to see where this goes. My ability to control final release seems to be affecting my wife - giving her the opportunity, and it seems, the desire to continuously push the envelope. This last play session in bed lasted well over an hour and a half. I'm not sure how many more adrenaline floods like that my body can withstand. I was one sore puppy the next morning.

I would be interested in getting comments from others who have subjected to intense tease and denial over a long period of time to see what their experiences have been with their own orgasm control and whether their control has changed significantly over time.

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