Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Natural Lust Cycles and a Thought Experiment

It has been a while since my last blog entry. Those of you who are regular readers know that I am not an entry a day kind of person. First, chastity things worth writing about don’t happen on a daily basis for me; and second, sometimes it takes a while for a pattern to emerge and be recognized. Such a pattern has emerged and been recognized by me.

Again, as many of my regular readers know, we have been using a game of chance to determine the window of time in which I will be allowed to cum; the game of chance is a selection of a marble from a sack - black means nothing for me, pick again day after tomorrow, while white means I get to cum how and when she wants sometime within the next five days. I also mentioned in previous posts that she has secretly rigged the selection by doctoring the white marble in a such a way that it feels different than the black marbles, it has a streaky texture, perhaps from some sort of coating like clear nail polish. She doesn’t know that I know of course and I haven’t called her on it because it allows her to do exactly what I want - have her control my orgasm. She apparently needs the game of chance for cover and that’s just fine with me.

So, for the last two months we have been doing this selection, we call it a “drawing ceremony,” and it is usually done at night, with candles lit and either me or both of us nude. The selection is made after we’ve done a little cuddling and making out - it usually doesn’t go very far, most of the time she doesn’t touch me below the waist and doesn’t allow me to touch her there either. Mostly we talk, kiss, nuzzle and hug - sometimes one of us gives the other a back rub, that sort of thing.

Now, an interesting pattern has emerged. First, she almost always declines my offers of a “Lady’s Night,” between my orgasm times. She has told me that she just “doesn’t feel right” having an orgasm and not giving me one. She also told me that sex just isn’t as satisfying for her unless she can feel me orgasm within her. Now, this isn’t an absolute - she has allowed me to massage her to a happy ending on occasion when she’s had some vodka to lower her inhibitions, and the period since we both orgasmed has been greater than a week. The pattern that has emerged though is she picks the white marble about every 12-14 days, that is, it takes about 12-14 days for her lust to build up to the point where she wants sex and that, in her mind, almost always necessarily involves me getting a release as well.

Now, why is this important and worth writing about? Well, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, until we began this journey in male chastity, our sex life was pretty bad. Her libido was almost nil; she never initiated sex or any sort of intimate play and when we did have sex, perhaps once or twice a week, she was obviously not emotionally engaged, was passive and just seemed interested in getting me off as fast as she could. It wasn’t always like that - but it was like that for at least the last five years or so and was pretty poor even before that. After we started the male chastity adventure, she told me that the thing she liked about it the most was she was no longer constantly under pressure to either have sex or put up with my resentment if she refused. It was like a huge weight being lifted off her not to have to deal with that every day of her life.

So it occurred to me, after seeing the 12-14 day pattern emerge, that absent the turn-off of pressure for sex from me, she does indeed have a natural lust cycle of her own. In the almost twenty years of our relationship prior to male chastity, this never emerged before. I wondered if her low, almost non-existent libido these many years really was just the result of her natural lust cycle being suppressed by my shorter cycle. I did a little thought experiment to see if that made sense. I imagined that instead of me having the shorter cycle, she did. In fact, in my imagination, it was so short that she demanded sex five times a day, whether or not I could get it up that often. I thought about what my reaction would be to this.

Although this sounds like a wonderful wet dream fantasy of having an insatiable mate, I thought about it in more detail. What would it be like to be pressured for sex morning, noon and night, day after day, week after week, month after month. Obviously, I couldn’t perform that often - I would be utterly drained and would feel utterly drained all of the time. My enthusiasm for sex would certainly suffer, especially if I was pressured into it - having to deal with her anger at rejection or implied aspersions against my manhood. Would I be uninterested in sex after a while of this, then progress to angry and resentful? You bet I would.

This thought experiment allowed me, for the first time, to “feel” what my wife must have been feeling these many years. Beyond an intellectual understanding, it provided me with a visceral sense of just how intense her anger and resentment might be and how completely it would suppress her own libido and lust cycle. So, to add to the many advantages of a male chastity life style, like more consistently elevated dopamine and oxytocin levels in the male (see my previous blog article: Male Chastity - Pleasure and Devotion, the Science Behind It), there is also the possibility of reigniting the libido of one’s mate by allowing her own lust cycle to emerge after perhaps many years of it being suppressed by the male.

I have one more item of note regarding devices. I wore the CB6000 mini for over six months and had few physical problems with it. It was reasonably comfortable and secure. Cleaning required removal each day but that wasn’t a problem for me. I had the discipline not to resort to orgasms in the shower, mainly because I understood just how beneficial it was to me, our sex life and our relationship to wait. It had only one drawback but it was a major one - my wife was totally turned off by the sight and feel and it. No amount of acclimation seemed to help. She wouldn’t touch or tease me when I had it on unless I practically forced her to, or she had consumed enough vodka to dull her feelings of antipathy towards it. I tried a metal device, the Lori model 12C (non-pierced), and got the same reaction from her. On her own, without benefit of alcohol, she wouldn’t initiate any sort of intimate behavior with me in either one.

Two months ago I took delivery of the Birdlocked mini device - the soft plastic chastity device that uses a thick ring, ball splitting soft plastic strip and a plastic band to keep it secure. It took me a while to figure out how to get it on since the ring was about an inch thick. It required lubricating the inner surface of it and the sides of my ball sack, then using a string noose around my balls to keep them from escaping up into my body while I tried to push them through. Using a modest amount of pressure on each ball pushing it through individually while at the same time drawing the scrotum skin through the ring did the trick. After a while, I could reliably get it on in about five minutes.

After I found the right hole to use in the securing band (at first I used the inner one which made it too tight and caused ball pain), the device was comfortable to wear, even with the thick ring pulling my package away from my body. The soft plastic was a welcome change from the hard plastic of the CB6000 - especially when sitting. It moved easily with me while exercising and had a lower profile in clothes. It was undetectable even in fairly tight jeans. I also found it easier to keep clean than the CB6000. Since it stretched and flexed, I could reach every nook and cranny of it with a cleaning sponge ended cleaning stick so it didn’t require daily removal for cleaning like the CB6000.

Most importantly, unlike the hard plastic CB6000 and metal Lori 12C, the soft plastic was not offensive to my wife. I could spoon her while in it without her pushing me away and I found her teasing of my genitals more frequent and done with more enthusiasm during our evening cuddle time/drawing ceremony. It just didn’t seem as ominous or bizarre to her - the smaller, lighter, flexible device was just less offensive to her, especially when I used a numbered, light plastic, disposable lock. Hoorah - Houston, we have lift off!

But, there is a problem. Isn’t there always a problem when it comes to male chastity, particularly male chastity devices? After four - two week cycles of wearing it almost continuously for two weeks at a time with daily cleaning, using various cleaning materials and procedures, I still get significant rashes and irritation on both the penis head and underside of the shaft. It also appears to be getting worse, with grayish white flaking skin and angry looking red welts added to the red rashes. It was really ugly looking this last time around and has given me pause. This can’t be good for me and the fact that it keeps getting worse is also a bad omen. I removed it three days ago after our last sex together (which was fabulous) and it has been healing - slowly regaining its normal color and with most of the flaking now gone.

I think I will go with the honor system for a while until it fully heals then perhaps try alternating, perhaps every day or every other day to see what , if any, combination stops the negative effects on my dick. If necessary, I will go completely honor system. I think the game might lose a lot of its special oomph without the device, but it’s better than having my wife treat me like a pariah or alternatively possibly doing serious damage to my penis. I’ll let you know how the experiment goes and how my wife reacts to having me out of the device for significant periods.


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