Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The More Things Change . . .

The More Things Change . . .

It has been five weeks since my last blog entry and much has happened since then, but I find myself in pretty much the same position I was in five weeks ago - neither here nor there. I’ll explain. First, on the diet front, two weeks after going off the Chastity Diet (which was basically that I had to lose a pound from the last time I had sex/release to earn the next one), I had gained two and a half pounds back. Obviously, I still needed the motivation of earning a release to take and keep weight off. I went back on the Chastity Diet, lost the two plus pounds in a week and modified the program so that now I must weigh under 170 lbs to earn the right to roll the dice - and again must weigh in and be under the weight limit to earn the possibility of release.

The program now includes the following features:

1. I must weigh the morning of the roll date and be under the weight limit or my roll date is lost and reset for a week later, at which time I must weigh in again.

2. I must weigh in the morning of a possible sex/release date and if I am over the limit, I lose it and must get under the weight limit to roll again.

3. On the evening of a sex/release date, we place ten white and ten black marbles in a black, velour sack. Each of us picks one marble without looking:

A. If both are black, we continue with our date, but my orgasm is denied and I remain locked up for our date; and of course, I give wife an orgasm.

B. If both are white, I am released from the chastity device and allowed to have an orgasm while having sex with my wife.

C. If one is white and one is black, I am released from the chastity device and give my wife an orgasm, but she doesn’t tell me until after she gets off, whether we will continue and I will get to release.

4. The day after we have sex (whether or not I get to release) is a roll date - I roll the dice to see when the next possible release date will be.

It all sounds good but my wife is so profoundly vanilla that she has problems with some aspects of it. First, she is repulsed by the chastity device and is very reluctant to touch it or me when I’m in it. Even after I gave her a key on a gold chain at a little ceremony in our bedroom and had her lock and unlock me several times over the course of a couple of days to get her familiar with it, she just doesn’t like dealing with it and won’t unless I ask her to which sort of ruins any possibility of spontaneous teasing. She has likened it to the mask worn by Hannibal Lecture in Silence of the Lambs and just finds it “weird,” and “creepy;” not exactly an accepting and promising response.

Second, she just can’t bring herself to believe that I still get great pleasure and joy giving her an orgasm even if I don’t get one myself. She can’t shake that belief despite my continued assurances to her that it is true. Also, she can’t shake the belief that the chastity device is painful for me and even more painful when I am aroused and therefore is very reluctant to do anything to arouse me when I am in it. I’ve told her honestly that it is never painful, and when aroused, it may be uncomfortable but it is never painful for me. And, I enjoy the feeling of my aroused penis being constrained like that.

To emphasize the point, I gave her an invitation (in fancy script print) to a “Lady’s Night” evening of pleasure in which I invited her to enjoy an evening in which her pleasure would be my only focus. It included champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, scented candles, some nice mood music, warmed scented oils, a long, slow foot massage, followed by a full body massage with a very happy ending. Her masseur, me, would be in my chastity device and clad only in a black thong supporter.

She accepted my invitation and the Lady’s Night went extremely well. For over two hours, I kneaded, rubbed and massaged my darling wife until she was a limp noodle and then added tongue, fingers and toys to bring her to a crashing orgasm. I demonstrated to her that she could have an incredibly satisfying sexual experience with me while I remained locked up and I didn’t crumple up and expire in excruciating pain. I very much enjoyed the experience of bringing her to orgasm and watching her in the throes of exquisite pleasure.

On my release date following the Lady’s Night, she was incredibly aggressive and sexy - tempting me, teasing me, making me follow her from room to room, chair, to floor, to couch, making out like a couple of horny teenagers, before she finally unlocked my chastity device and just about squeezed the life out of me pulling me inside of her and holding me there while she ground herself against me, reaching orgasm just before she triggered my own earth-shattering release. Despite the rug burns, both of us were utterly and blissfully sated and satisfied.

So what’s the problem? Well, each of the sexual encounters we had while starting the evening in my chastity device took place after I gave her a couple of drinks (she loves vodka and lemonade) which seems to be the only way for her to loosen up, shed the inhibitions and become sexually adventurous, playful and aggressive. Since I don’t want an alcoholic wife and would like to have her participate willingly, even joyfully in this chastity experience while completely sober, I am at a loss as to how to proceed. Without a couple of drinks, the whole chastity play thing seems completely repugnant to her or somehow threatening to her safe, vanilla world of husband and wife roles and husband and wife sex. Any suggestions or recommendations on how to help her through those barriers would be greatly appreciated. I know there must be others whose wives were a bit freaked out initially and found a way to make it work for both of them.

I have given her an interesting book to read - not about male chastity, but about Tantric Sex techniques. Although the method used for doing it is different than male chastity, the main themes of the book are achieving long term ejaculation control by the male and providing lengthy, skilled massage of the female. We are actually reading it together - I did the first hundred pages a couple of days ago and she just finished the same hundred pages today. We are supposed to talk about it tonight and perhaps try some of the exercises or “practices” the author recommends. After that, we will alternate, each reading a chapter and then talking about it and/or try it out. I’ll write about it in my next post where I will provide the name of the book and author if it works out well for us and is something I can recommend. Until next time.
The Secret Chastity Husband.


  1. Have her read my blog and chat with my Keyholder Wife. It might help both of them in different ways.

  2. Thanks - what is your blog's name/address? I don't see it in your profile.


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