Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Wife Led Husband In Chastity

Wow, has it really been six weeks since my last post? Between moving and a family vacation, it has been a blur of activity. Two posts ago (May 6th), I described a "Eureka" moment of discovering there was a way to introduce my wife to the broader principle of a Wife Led Marriage that would encompass Male Chastity and her control of my releases. I also described the use of a coupon system to give her something that she values in return for tease and denial. That post also described a "test" of her ability and desire to lead and my own ability and desire to follow using a previously sore point of contention, planning the family vacation. The test succeeded beyond my most optimistic expectations. It gave her a taste of what wife leadership and decision making would be like. She loved the experience.

Shortly after the successful test of her planning of the family vacation, two things came up that became a source of contention between us. One involved a dispute with a business associate and how it should be handled. The other involved a dispute with a family member. We disagreed about how each should be handled. I was my usual adamant, stubborn self, sticking to my desire for harsh retribution. She advised a much more nuanced approach that would lower the temperature on both situations and allow quick resolution and reconciliation. It took me awhile but thinking about it once my initial hot reaction had cooled, it was clear that my wife was right. And, it occurred to me that she was right for the same reasons that she was usually right. I wrote her a note, the first part of which described the two situations, my initial reactions, her advise and why her advise (her decisions about what I should do about it) was correct. I finished the note with the following:

" The lessons of the last few days and my continued reading of Remond's second volume [Worshipping Your Wife] have convinced me that I should make a more formal commitment to follow your lead and accept your decisions with the knowledge that those decisions will almost always be better than mine because they will be more sensitive to a larger range of considerations and they will not be clouded by the typical male ego issues and stubbornness which I seem to have in such abundance.

Therefore, I would like to at least try out this form of family decision making for the next four months to see how it works. Obviously, we will discuss all issues to see if we can reach agreement. But, for those few issues in which we cannot agree, even after extensive discussion, we will simply agree beforehand that we will follow your decision and I will fully support it.

Now, I know this will take some getting used to by both of us. It is not the way we have operated before but we also had many problems with long running disputes in the past that never really seemed to get resolved. Worse, those disputes always carried over into other things that made both of our lives miserable. I think we can avoid all of that if we use this system. It requires confidence in you by me that you will take my points of view into account in making a final decision where there is a difference between us. I have this confidence in you. And, it will require confidence by you in me that I will support your decision even when it differs from what I would do and that I will not carp, or passively resist it. There will be no "I told you so's," by me, and If I slip, let me know it. I hope you will have this confidence in me.

Maybe it is possible to teach old dogs new tricks. I guess we'll find out over the next four months. I will certainly give it a try.
I Love You,

After reading the letter, my wife came into my office (I work at home) and gave me a huge hug and kiss. She said she loved my note and really appreciated my honesty and the courage it took to admit that I was wrong. She said she loved the new me and was prepared to make family decisions. I returned the huge hug and kiss and was so choked up I could barely get the words out . . . "Thank You."

Since then, things have worked out very well except for a two week period when we both learned just how important male chastity was to making this new system work. For those two weeks, at her insistence, I removed the chastity device and didn't wear it. We were travelling by air and she said she would be mortified if I was pulled aside for a wand check (as they do randomly now) and they found the device.

With my orgasms no longer controlled and me no longer dependent on my wife for sexual release, I quickly returned to my former somewhat surly, less attentive self. The difference was so striking that my wife immediately recognized the difference and remarked on it. She is now a true believer in the power of male chastity. She doesn't understand why it works or why I would want to do something like that, but she clearly understands that, for whatever reason, it does work and it changes my mood and personality in a way that is very positive for our relationship and for her.

That first evening after we returned home, we hugged in passing as we often do when moving about the house but this time I felt her hand touching my privates, checking me out. We had been home for about four hours and I hadn't gotten around to putting my device (a CB6000s) back on. She looked me squarely in the eye and smiled as she said:

"Don't you have something you were supposed to do?"

I smiled back sheepishly and nodded as I made a beeline for our bedroom, took a shower and put the device back on. I can't explain it, but it felt good to have it back on - the feeling of being enclosed and held somehow comforting and familiar. By the next morning, despite the continuing stress of preparing for our move, I felt distinctly calmer and more relaxed than I did on our vacation. The difference in my mood was so apparent that my wife noticed it immediately. I just pointed south of my belly and said: "remarkable, isn't it?"

With respect to sex during the two week vacation, the first time was great; the other two times substantially less so. Upon arrival, we immediately went to our room, shared a bottle of champagne and fucked like hot weasels. It had been fifteen days since my last orgasm and I had been enclosed in my device for nearly all of it. The result was an hour and a half of wild, explosive sex with me experiencing one of those blissful, exquisitely intense orgasms that have become the norm since we began using male chastity.

The other two sessions of sexual play during the vacation were much less satisfying for both of us. With both reached orgasm both times but there was none of the rollicking, "roll in the hay" excitement that accompanies breaking the chastity orgasm fast. Adjectives like "nice," "pleasant" and "practiced" would be good descriptors of the experience. It was very much like much of the sex we'd had during our marriage prior to my chastity.

It drove home the point to me that male chastity not only elevated my sexual experience but my wife's as well. The tremendous sense of excitement generated in me by sex after a chaste period elevated my wife's sense of excitement as well, which elevated mine more and then hers, and on it went in a virtuous circle that ignited both of us into a fever pitch of quivering, teenage like passion. Using chastity to enhance sex is like replacing candle wax with rocket fuel. The difference is that great.
After we returned, at my suggestion, we added a new wrinkle to our drawing ceremony (selecting a marble from a sack - black means no orgasm for me, pick again in three days; white means orgasm for me at a time, place and method of my wife's choosing). The new wrinkle is a dice throw if a black marble is selected. My wife decides who throws the dice. If I throw them, the results are taken from a stack of index cards describing teases for me. If my wife throws them, the results are taken from her stack describing services for her.

Here are a couple of samples from my stack:

Roll 6 (Blind Fold)
(eye contact) NOW . . .
* The Device stays on
* Take out the vibrator, the blind fold and a towel. Lay face up on the towel and put the blind fold on.
* You will have to use all of your senses except sight to enjoy this. And I do mean all of your senses - touch, hearing, smell and taste.

Roll 7 (A Special Massage)
(eye contact) NOW . . .
* The Device stays on.
* Take out the vibrator and lay on your side facing away from me.
* With my fingers and the vibrator, I'm going to massage that special spot of yours. We'll see how much fluid and how many moans I can coax out of you.

Here are a couple of samples from her stack:

Roll 3 or 11 (Kneeling for Me)
(eye contact) NOW . . .
* The Device stays on; you will not touch yourself.
* Take the vibrator out. Put a pillow on the floor by the side of the bed and kneel on it.
* You will watch me as I touch and use the vibrator on myself.
* If I want you to contribute, I will point to my pussy. You will then use your tongue and fingers to get me off.

Roll a 5 or 9 ( The View is Everything)
(eye contact) NOW . . .
* The Device stays on. Take the vibrator out and lay it beside me.
* Lie down on your back. You may not touch yourself.
* I will straddle your head facing your feet. You will do nothing to touch or taste me.
* I will use the vibrator on myself. When I want to I will grind myself down on your mouth. Only then may you lick and taste me. You will stop when I pull back up.
* Not only will you have a great view of me, but I will have a very hot view of you straining against the Device while you watch me.

Of course, it is my wife doing all the talking whether we are using my stack or hers. Well, we tried it out a week after we got back. She selected a black marble and chose to roll the dice herself. She rolled an eleven.

She read the index card contents to me and didn't wait for me to put a pillow on the side of the bed, dropping it there herself. I took my position kneeling on it while she got herself comfortable with pillows behind her back to support her. With legs dangling over the side of the bed, she began using only her fingers. It didn't take long until the moans began escaping from her lips. While she ran her fingers up and down her slit and around her clit, she used her feet to touch and excite my trapped cock and balls.

After a while, she brought me into active service. She didn't point as the card said she would. Instead, she just took a firm grip on the back of my head and pulled me in. There is nothing sweeter or more exciting to me than feeling her twitch as my tongue and fingers find just the right spot and watching her back arch as she thrusts her hips up to press her pussy to my lips. At first, she was continuing to play with my device enclosed cock and balls with her feet but after awhile she brought her legs up and clasped her ankles behind my neck, pulling me in as she thrust her pussy up, developing a rhythm after a while. When I slipped my tongue into her hot tunnel, she picked up the vibrator and finished herself off, cumming in a wild explosion of spasms and loud moans of pleasure.

When she was done she collapsed back on the bed, chest heaving as she continued to breathe heavily. She was wet everywhere; her beautiful torso and breasts glistened in the soft light. It was an amazing sight - at that moment I felt so lucky to be with her, to be able to do this for her. As aroused as I was, the strongest feeling I had was a sense of pride and satisfaction that I was able to give her this gift.

As I began putting things away, I felt her toes nudge my butt. I turned to her and she was sitting up; her hair was damp and stringy, her pussy was still wet and her eyes were a slit as she rested her chin in the palm of her hand and tilted her head a bit.

"I like this game," she said as she smiled.

That's all she said as she rose up and went into the bathroom to shower. I finished straightening up and putting things away, changed out the sheets and cleaned the vibrator. I was still tremendously engorged but I had no sense that I was in any way deprived. It all felt perfectly natural. It was the way it was supposed to be.

And so I have renamed this blog again to more accurately describe what it is presently about. "The Wife Led Husband in Chastity." This blog is now about a husband who is wife led in his marriage. One component of that WLM is her control of his orgasm - the chastity. It is a very important component, perhaps the thing that makes the whole thing work for the both of us, but it is just a component. The bigger picture is it is wife led - that's what makes it work for my wife and in the final analysis, that's what matters.


  1. Thanks for posting, I love your ideas for games and will be using some of those suggestions on my hubby.


  2. Kinky Wife - thanks for your comment. I think your hubby will enjoy the games. I sure do.


Popular Posts